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OrganicHair9951 OP t1_iu8jdox wrote

would just like to add context, even though i feel like i shouldn’t have to, but people are getting rather upset abt my work and it’s making me a lil uncomfy ngl 🥲. this isn’t supposed to be some feminist propaganda, although i have no issue in that as i am a feminist (not to be confused w extremist thank you). this is quite literally my way of accepting something that traumatized me on multiple levels. the title “boys will be boys” was literally SAID to ME by a family member of mine, along w “well what were you wearing” … for the people getting upset at me for painting abt my experiences, telling me i need psychological help because your feelings somehow got hurt in what i created, speaks volumes on issues that continue to plague us on a societal level. i wasn’t saying women only suffer from sexual assault, this isn’t a generalization. this is literally me trying to accept something that has happened to me…. hence the female body and title. it’s all… my… experience. literally so beyond confused as to how men are still getting offended in this when it’s clearly abt sexual assault??? are you a sexual deviant ? no ? then ???

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Emergency_Network_66 t1_iu8um7c wrote

I grew up with the same experience - you did a great job with this piece.

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OrganicHair9951 OP t1_iu8xfls wrote

thank you v much for sharing that, and words can’t express how sorry i am for what you’ve gone through. thank you for your kind words <3 i hope in all the chaos you must’ve gone through, you were able to find peace and heal. lots of love friend

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Emergency_Network_66 t1_iu9n0lq wrote

That trauma still follows me around and affects a lot of things but I'm learning that what I grew up hearing and learning is a lie that allows abusers to have control. Thank you ❤❤

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forever_young_59 t1_iu90396 wrote

I love it. Got it instantly and about to turn 63. Sadly things haven’t changed as much as we’d like to think. ❤️

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OrganicHair9951 OP t1_iu9b1qd wrote

thank you for the kind words, pretty soul <3 so much work to be done. i hope i can live to see the day when that ball finally gets put in motion.

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ScruffyWeeny42 t1_iu9tohy wrote

Beautiful piece, and totally understand that the title is based on personal experience, but the reason people are getting upset is because you are lumping all boys into the category of rapist, which is unfair to most.

When I was in college my buddy and I got mugged and robbed by a couple of black guys in an alley in Denver. That doesn't mean that I would publically insinuate that all black people are muggers.

I also DONT THINK you should change the title at all if you don't want to. It's polarizing, draws attention, catches eyes, and gets you views. That's art baby. I just want to provide context as to why you are getting some negativity. (But again, with art, IMO, all publicity is good publicity).

Cheers and have a good one!

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Boleen t1_iu9vbyi wrote

“Boys will be boys” is a common saying that people say trying to excuse shitty behaviors.

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OrganicHair9951 OP t1_iua4011 wrote

well i already explained myself/the title in the comment you just responded to, and i understand where you’re coming from. however, the title isn’t me saying “boys will be boys” it’s the excuse my family member gave me when i told him i was raped. literally a man told me this. i’m not the one that “lumped all men into the rapist category”

a member of the male species did

trust me, i don’t like the title either. that’s the point. when i was told that, it not only disrespected me as a woman, but my experience as a rape victim as well. that’s also the reason for my inclusion on quotations. i feel like people shouldn’t be offended by something that doesn’t apply to them.

for the record, the point of the title was not to draw in the views in hopes of getting exposure, or however you put it. in fact, that’s a little insulting. it’s to make people as sick as i was when i was told that in response to me being raped. to draw attention on how we justify mens actions no matter the severity, all because they’re men. that’s bullshit in my opinion.

also thank you for your kind words on my piece :) v appreciative.

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ScruffyWeeny42 t1_iuagzvv wrote

I totally get that the peice of shit that raped you and the peice of shit that justified it to your face are absolute filth, but that doesn't mean that all boys are, and that's how the title comes off to randos on reddit who don't know your personal experience.

Did not mean to offend, I was trying to say something along the lines of what you said:

>it’s to make people as sick as i was when i was told that in response to me being raped.

You explained it in a better way than I tried to, I just meant, your shocking and attention grabbing title isn't a bad thing, even if it harbors some negativity.

What about the title "Monsters will be Monsters"? Totally just a suggestion, no offense meant at all! Have a great day!

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