AnInfiniteRick t1_jeguwot wrote on March 31, 2023 at 10:38 PM

Am a man that keeps coming up short on the lazy vice. Annoyed by this. Never feel good. Not distracted like I would be if actionable. No consistent progress in all the areas that are semi-abstract to me. I just want to do something worthwhile for my character that will show in my actions tomorrow. And I love the feeling. I can't climb high enough to run from the demons. People I love in hell for life. I did everything by the book. I am plagued with opportunities to grow, and starved of safe spaces to unfold. I still have dreams of a beautiful clearing. There lives and dies all of my wonderful friends. A massacre every time I wake up.

[deleted] OP t1_jegwid8 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 10:50 PM

This all sounds quite sinister and depressing, to be honest. What is it that makes you feel happy even for a split second? Any small details, actions, events? There has to be something.

AnInfiniteRick t1_jegztdn wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:15 PM

Every thing. I love how the world can reveal it's intricacies to us in soft spoken revelations. I enjoy the feeling of of finishing a creation and sharing that. I like being alone. I find it fascinating that everybody is unique. I find it hilarious that people can take life seriously. I read well deliberated thesis' of others eagerly as if it is proof of alien life in the universe. I like the outdoors. I like having impossible goals and fantasies of well being, I guess.