Pineapple on pizza

Tell them that they have more sausage between their first and last names than they do between their legs

Call them a turtle stomping plumber?

Snap your spaghetti noodles in half before putting them in the pot

Speak Italian sounding gibberish.

Throw his cat into a fish tank filled with acid.

That’s devilish

Italian middle names are sausage?

Breath at the wrong pace and or pitch

Use the American Italian terms for food items.

Ask in which parts of Italy they speak Italian

This will work fastest

Tie their hands so they can't talk.

Omg they’d be livid

Tell them their pasta sauce sucks

Eat pasta with a knife and spoon. Like cut it in tiny pieces and scoop it with the spoon

According to those super cringey Instagram couples, anything and everything pisses off an Italian.

Insult their grandmother’s sauce.

Pineapple on pizza.

Yeah I heard it's a big taboo in Italy.

Pre made store bought pasta

Call them the equivalent of the n word to a person of color, or the f word toward a gay man.

WARNING: If they came off the boat here they will have deep seeded anguish and this term may incite flying plates, wine bottles, etc.

Source: man married into Italiano family of dissent and off the boats referred to above.

Serve them sauce from a jar.

Calling pasta "noodles" does the trick just fine, you don't need to be a psychopath.

Add Olive Oil to the pasta water

>spaghetti noodles

THIS is how you piss us off

Tell them pasta tastes better in france

Ask for carbonara with cream

Tell them the Princess is in another castle.

Eat them and say la pizza