I remember one of the most hurtful things someone ever said to me was an attempt at positivity. My then father-in-law had been brutally murdered in a senseless and totally preventable way and after dragging out of me why I seemed 'glum' that day, an acquaintance assured me that my sadness was selfish because he's in a better place now and no longer suffering. To this day it pisses me off as he had no idea what, if any, religious beliefs I had and just.... even giving him the out of being surprised by the news and not knowing what to say, I can't imagine saying something like that to someone. When in doubt, say nothing. A gentle armpat would have been more than enough. But damn. At a certain point, even with the best intentions, you should be aware that you might be cheapening someone else's experience.