If there's no one in your life who can gently teach you how to regulate your emotions, this is where therapy can be helpful and has changed my life.

In essence I believe you are saying that you are unable to manage big emotions- which is very human and not your fault. We all have to be taught this! And if our parents didn't teach us (mine didn't), or another family member or a teacher or maybe a sports coach didn't... Who was left to teach you?

When you learn how to calm yourself past those big emotions you can access your rational brain again. Literally when you are "triggered" and start experiencing a Trauma response, you can't access your prefrontal cortex. I've been learning this over the past year, and personally I have found after everything I've tried, just learning how the brain works (and it isn't as complicated as I feared) has really helped me understand where the "inner critic" comes from- makes it a lot easier to tell it to stfu and be nice to you lol. I hope that helps?

(I want to add that avoiding things makes me feel better too. My main response to danger is to run away, or in modern terms, avoid things)