We often confuse the urge to procrastinate with the act of procrastinating [Discussion]

Submitted by monegerie t3_1089typ in GetMotivated

When I sit down to start working, I sometimes feel anxious about how to proceed. And, as a way to distract myself from feeling anxious, my mind suggests more appealing alternatives, like 'check social media!' or 'let's go get a snack!'

But this is not how we get things done.

So instead of criticizing myself for feeling the urge to procrastinate, I now validate it.

Because I haven't procrastinated on my work yet.

It is merely a suggestion from my brain which I can accept or ignore. There is nothing terrible about it. Everybody feels the same way, even great creators. I also learned that nothing kills the creative mood more than a judgmental inner narrator. So now I calm down by telling myself that I don't have to be perfect. Besides that, I reflect on my previous successes and do warm-up rituals like taking a morning walk and having a cup of coffee before getting down to business. As a result, I'm much more likely to get over the initial hump of wanting to procrastinate and stay focused.

How do you overcome anxiety-related procrastination? Do you fight or validate it?

PS. A reminder for my fellow redditors: you're beautiful, you're worth it, and you're enough.

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iansbeing t1_j3qyoad wrote

Great stuff, hope more people get to see it. Recently read a short book on procrastination and I think it has helped.

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whooo_me t1_j3r1m3s wrote

Yeah, I agree.

My feeling is this: people tend to compulsively do things that make us feel good about ourselves, and compulsively avoid things that make us feel bad about ourselves.

Generally, that's ok. But in many scenarios there are things that straddle that divide which cause huge issues. Things which make us feel good (alcohol/substance abuse, excessive gambling) but are bad for us, and things which can make us feel bad (going to the gym, starting a hobby, starting dating again) but are good for us.

It's because of those compulsions, that I'm very wary of any "Just get off the sofa and do it" lines. If you manage to drag yourself down to the gym, that's good. But that negative compulsion could still be nagging away "I feel terrible". "I look terrible". "Everyone's laughing at me". "I'll never keep this up, I always quit!". Going to the gym will still be a negative experience and so you'll be constantly pushing back against it.

In order to change behaviour, that's the key thing we have to change: we have to make the change a positive experience. Not "if I keep this up for a year I'll be able to run a marathon", but "this one act today is fun/positive/progress and makes me feel good". You went to the gym for 30 minutes one day? Fantastic! You wrote a single paragraph of a book, or even just wrote out the names of the characters? Brilliant.

If you can turn those small, immediate acts into positive experiences, you won't have to worry about discipline and motivation, as you'll start to do them compulsively.

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monegerie OP t1_j3r5071 wrote

Replying to whooo_me (#1,324,822)

>"this one act today is fun/positive/progress and makes me feel good".

This is gold. I used to be 'mentally fixed' on goals that required so much time and effort to achieve. Now I celebrate even small victories.

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iansbeing t1_j3rcuxi wrote

Replying to monegerie (#1,324,843)

I actually found it on here, it was a quick 30 page read. It's called 'Using Psychology To Stop Procrastinating: A psychological examination of procrastination and ways it can be resolved' by Ivica Milaric.

It actually touched on some stuff I studied in college and brought up self fulfilling prophecy. Main thing I took away was realizing that you do procrastinate and calling yourself out about it to push through it.

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whooo_me t1_j3s3fjx wrote

Replying to monegerie (#1,324,976)

Same here.

I mean, it’s great being able to break a daunting task down into smaller manageable steps; but if you’re struggling for motivation even lots of small daily/weekly tasks can be enough to dissuade you.

Being able to take pleasure in small standalone wins is key.

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Helblind t1_j3tpri9 wrote

I'm procrastinating while reading this post on procrastination.

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