I stopped believing. It took me years to realize I stopped believing though. I probably spent more time lying to myself thinking I still had faith, but didn't. Then I spent a good amount of time just keeping up appearances. Eventually my wife at the time and I had "the talk." For awhile we made it work, but honestly the religion was holding us together. She struggled a lot with many of the restrictions, but it took her some time to come to the realization that it wasn't working for her either.

We lived in an ultra orthodox town. By this point I had a job in a company that wasn't owned by religious Jews. I got promoted and my company paid to relocate us. I now live in a town that is "normal."

We spent some time not being religious, together. Eventually we realized that we both wanted different things and it wasn't going to work. We tried counseling. It wasn't something she wanted to pursue. We split up.

Eventually she stopped blaming me. In many ways we became better friends after we split up.

Every so often old friends contact me.