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chemgator64 t1_je9arma wrote

That’s more like paranoid then insecure

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Make_the_music_stop t1_je9cg5i wrote

So my girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying "Sorry, this isn't working. I've gone to stay with my mother" I opened the fridge and the light came on and all the beers were ice cold. Phew!

2,734

TooShiftyForYou t1_je9curb wrote

I asked my girlfriend if she thought I was too insecure.

She clicked the handcuffs a little tighter and said, "There, that's better."

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axeman020 t1_je9d7on wrote

She went for milk and came back?!?! That's new!

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n30nl30n t1_je9s2ju wrote

My girlfriend left me because I'm blind.... honestly- I didn't see it coming

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Northman67 t1_je9s8ly wrote

I sent my girlfriend a text 30 seconds ago and she hasn't responded. I don't know why she's leaving me!

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Gwydion-Drys t1_je9tiej wrote

Replying to axeman020 (#2,479,800)

Of course. It is when people go to get smokes AND milk they vanish. The interference between getting something healthy and unhealthy makes them disappear into the multiverse. Doesn´t everyone know that?

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Nikki_Blonde t1_jea89kn wrote

I have anxiety and he is not talking to me .. its been 8 hours. . .

Okay he is awake... Its all okay now.

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jderamus1 t1_jea8vuy wrote

So you’re telling me there is a chance my dad went out for milk and has only been lost for 20 years….

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natashaamilly1357 t1_jeacwzs wrote

If I had a nickel for every time I heard this joke...

Brb I'll finish the sentence when I get back. Just going to the store for some cigarettes and a fashion of milk.

1

SaintPanda_ t1_jeaf69g wrote

mom said it's my turn to repost this next week

1

richardec t1_jeagbf5 wrote

I know how you feel.

My dad went out for cigarettes in 1971. His dinner is getting cold but I'm not worried.

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gigaswardblade t1_jeahm5u wrote

Unlike your father who still has yet to return with the milk

3

Nuf-Said t1_jeahv8i wrote

Replying to n30nl30n (#2,483,421)

My crippled girlfriend left me and moved back with her mother. I was so angry that I went to her mother’s house and stole her wheelchair. I knew she’d come crawling back.

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Abrical t1_jeajr9j wrote

So... officer... my girlfriend is back... she really bought those damn cigarettes

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mainnick t1_jeamilq wrote

Ngl took me a few min to get this one but finally LOL'd 😄

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cardcomm t1_jeanij8 wrote

When she goes for cigarettes, you know your in real trouble

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ratchooga t1_jeaqeyp wrote

Thought I was in the bpd subreddit for a second.

1

Meatslab8590 t1_jeaqupw wrote

I was gonna say “she abandoned you because you were feeling abandoned?”

1

Northman67 t1_jeaxx8x wrote

Replying to xc68030 (#2,488,180)

Haters gonna hate.

That's kind of the modern thing though people like you have to have someone to denigrate your own lives must be so miserably terrible that you have to spend all your time on social media down voting people.

It's really quite tragic and probably why you can't get laid except by a hooker or your mother.

Here let me downvote my own comments to show you how utterly worthless your downvote is.

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Lone_Wanderer97 t1_jeb1vbc wrote

My girlfriend left me because I stole her wheelchair.

It's ok, she'll come crawling back eventually.

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JonnyBhoy t1_jeb4o4t wrote

My girlfriend left me because I'm scared of committment

Well, she wasn't really my girlfriend, more of a friend.

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Starr_Struckk t1_jeb4uxz wrote

I have psychosis and my girlfriend is always so supportive! Like last night she clung to me ceiling and watched over me all night!

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Jordi1620 t1_jeb9o1j wrote

My girlfriend left me because of my pasta fetish. I’m feeling cannelloni right now

1

zoomzoomboomdoom t1_jeba05o wrote

Replying to Stogie-Smoker (#2,487,584)

Yeah, but the abandonment can be a real headache.

My girlfriend has creative issues.

If she posts on Reddit, she’s always saying: “I’m gonna leave this right here,” cuz she can’t think of anything more creative to say.

So her creative issue creates an abandonment issue.

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-saphyra- t1_jeba8z9 wrote

She put a note on the ps5 that said “this isn’t working”. I was scared until I turned it on. Messaged her “it works!”

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Rogue100 t1_jebcbkd wrote

I imagine this is how our pets feel anytime we leave the house!

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niftyben t1_jebe62p wrote

I remember the last 900 times this was posted...

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SuperSaiyan2589 t1_jebhcxy wrote

But was it to go get milk or get away from you for a little while?

1

MrGipiem t1_jeblo7b wrote

Of course she left you; if you cant take care or love yourself, how in the world are you supposed to love or take care of another person?

−3

StevenMcFlyJr t1_jebqn0b wrote

Was it in the fridge or at the store tho? Time is a bitch

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raysqman t1_jeca3hd wrote

Good old number 137. Where have you been all week?

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davisyoung t1_jecrf3m wrote

Your girlfriend would make a terrible father. She actually came back with the milk.

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Illustrious_Buy5289 t1_jecz21w wrote

whose the 10 thousand mentally disabled people upvoting this shit is what i want to know.

1

Due-Science-9528 t1_jedciss wrote

Literally me except I was dating mentally ill men who would disappear for days at a time

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irubberyouglue1000 t1_jedg7la wrote

this something a dog experiences when it’s owner leaves the house for a bit

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Botch_Lobotomy t1_jedk6jr wrote

I had to break up with my cross-eyed girlfriend. She was seeing someone else

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Tasera t1_jedvlx9 wrote

My girlfriend left me because she couldn't stand my being mute anymore... I was speechless.

1