Comments

You must log in or register to comment.

lidlesstare t1_jdud3t6 wrote

But I did tell her about the miraculous healing powers of my saliva.

284

Make_the_music_stop t1_jduhsvr wrote

A bloke walks into a bar and there are two Nuns playing darts. He offers to do the scoring.

The first Nun hits a treble twenty with her first and second darts and double twenty with her third. The man shouts out "One hundred and sixty."

The second Nun goes to throw and hits a treble twenty, a single twenty and the third dart hits the wire and rebounds straight into the Nuns eye, killing her instantly! The bloke shouts out "One Nun dead and eighty."

1,377

sensitivepistachenut t1_jduhuiu wrote

Dang, I'd like to see that happen. So far the girls just have had an akupuncture therapy in the midst of a gaming session.

−3

O-U-T-C-A-S-T t1_jduiy3h wrote

Did you help to apply direct pressure to stop the bleeding?

91

ao5357 t1_jdv0lr7 wrote

You're a lucky man, Pierce

53

Mobiasstriptease t1_jdv9ab9 wrote

Replying to Make_the_music_stop (#2,386,875)

This sounds like it's a funny joke... But I need an American translation to appreciate it.

Edit: Nevermind. I needed the idiot translation, not the American one. Thanks reddit

2nd edit: American translation is the idiot translation. You should all go into stand-up comedy.

501

utsVR t1_jdve1bh wrote

Nature’s bullseye

2

itzToreve t1_jdvhngp wrote

Bro how u bad if u hit it right in the god damn center. Perfect shot.

0

fickle_north t1_jdvsfd7 wrote

Embarrassed myself further by trying to stem the bleeding with my hand.

I felt a right tit.

39

NaSinRao t1_jdw0la9 wrote

You did the right thing by only sucking at the darts.

1

cherryhilljawnz t1_jdw2l0c wrote

OP gr8 joke! I saw it coming unlike her but a great joke...

Please post this to r/3amjokes

1

barney_trumpleton t1_jdx2vjo wrote

Replying to Mobiasstriptease (#2,390,718)

You may need more context, as an American. In professional darts in the UK, when someone throws 180, the crowd go wild and the announcer embellishes the call like he's announcing a boxer making a grand entrance. This has made its way into the public zeitgeist, where amateur comedians will scream "ooooooone hundred and eighhhhhhty!!" at random intervals throughout a game of darts.

https://youtu.be/aea939Cxs5w

19

Iz-kan-reddit t1_jdxeb1d wrote

Replying to ArchemedesRex (#2,401,001)

You left out the sweet, sweet solvent.

The sound of the teacher's clack-clack-clack on the hallway floor returning from the teacher's lounge would start a pavlovian tingle in your nose in anticipation.

It almost made up for getting the last one, which was only vaguely legible because the master was running out.

2

Mikesaidit36 t1_jdxej3g wrote

Replying to Iz-kan-reddit (#2,399,620)

Those smelly slightly damp blue/purple copies were mimeographs. I’m old enough to remember seeing a hand crank machine in an office somewhere with somebody cracking up smelly copies. Different than xeroxes. But I’m just realizing I’ve known what the word ditto means all along without knowing what it comes from.

5

Iz-kan-reddit t1_jdxkwxg wrote

Replying to Mikesaidit36 (#2,401,797)

>But I’m just realizing I’ve known what the word ditto means all along without knowing what it comes from.

The term ditto for a mimiograph copy actually comes from the term ditto, which comes from Latin though Italian. Just a little tidbit I finally happened to learn a couple of years ago after half a century on this Earth. I had always had the same assumption as you.

1

highxv0ltage t1_jdxl3fl wrote

If you managed to be that precise, I think you’re better than you think.

2

Haunting-Ad9521 t1_jdyouwg wrote

Looking on the bright side, she got the piercings free, I suppose.

1

vldracer16 t1_jdyxy7o wrote

I wish I could have seen that on person!!!

1

[deleted] t1_jdz1yzy wrote

Nice. My buddy did both mine on base in the barracks while were both drunk as fuck with a safety pin. Aaaahhhh the good old days

1

drinkyourpoision t1_jdzg50c wrote

Nipple rings taste like house keys and there no place like home baby!

1