No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre
Comments
VerbatimHeel t1_iud4hk8 wrote
I saw that movie twice.
I was convinced they wouldn’t be dumb enough to hit that iceberg agin!
awaymoralize58 t1_iud55df wrote
A mate of mine went on a tinder date once, during small talk she mentioned her favorite film is Titanic.
So in the interests of making converstion, my mate comments on the actual historic event of the Titanic sinking.
She says ‟Do not be silly, the Titanic never sank”
He says ‟Uh, what?”
She says ‟Well obviously it did not really sink, it was just a movie”
A second date did not happen.
Advanced_Parsnip t1_iud8zsv wrote
Once while at the movies with family, one of my daughters asked if it really happened? It was Cowboys vs Aliens, for her defense she was only 7
PhilipWaterford t1_iudby8q wrote
It'd need to be a great-grandparent for the joke to work in 2022.
Creepscape t1_iudjfy2 wrote
Lol, you remind me of a one time date I went a long time ago with this girl who said dinosaurs did not exist. We were in a natural history museum.
TooMuchDont t1_iudl5m8 wrote
What if OP is 80 years old?
PhilipWaterford t1_iudnqg1 wrote
I suppose he did call it a movie theatre, so it's possible.
Bouffazala t1_iudo2n3 wrote
He just saved you 3 hours
Shihai-no-Akuma t1_iudrsxs wrote
If the paintings in the art museum are fake then surely the bones you see are fake too, Dinosaurs doesn’t exist.
Kangaroorapist420 t1_iudsva6 wrote
Good burn
Kangaroorapist420 t1_iudsxb0 wrote
Someone award this man!
Edit: or woman!
Ragnarok_619 t1_iue14b3 wrote
NinjaElectricMeteor t1_iue1q9f wrote
For such a succesful movie it's strange they never made a sequel.
Cyberguy678 t1_iue6m2z wrote
He went a bit overboard
A_Mirabeau_702 t1_iue8l4i wrote
Leo DiCaprio has asked to be digitally removed from Titanic because it’s now 25 years old.
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DaddyKrotukk t1_iuebvll wrote
There is a Titanic II and a Titanic 666.
Bipedal_Warlock t1_iuecbbr wrote
I went to see it in theatres for the first time in high school. My girlfriend decided after that was the best time to break up with me
GwnIk t1_iueesn3 wrote
IAmSomnabula t1_iuehdoe wrote
Those bones in the ground? God put them there to test our faith.
Also, have you ever noticed creationists are so little evolved?
~ Bill Hicks
anxiously-anonymous t1_iuej7ap wrote
And probably a Titanic XXX
mac2914 t1_iuejfdi wrote
Doesn’t he usually break up with the girls he dates when they turn 25?
DALinProgress t1_iuekq3g wrote
It's still worth seeing for Kate Winslet. She put the tit in Titanic
Ysanoire t1_iueljki wrote
I went on a date with a guy who said 90% of science is bullshit. He followed it up with saying moon landing was impossible. At the same time he claimed he was an engineer.
NuclearDragon1661 t1_iueln03 wrote
Ysanoire t1_iuelqbj wrote
That's the joke
topspin9 t1_iuepr7h wrote
Lol ,take the award !
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Some-Register-3901 t1_iuerdx0 wrote
I think that this joke in general is "impossible". The Titanic movie came out in 1997. Assuming that it would make sense for a person to be on the Titanic, at an age where it would make sense to warn people about the sinking, but also possible for them to watch the movie is improbable to say the least. The Titanic sank in 1912, and if we assume that the subject of the joke was at least 12 at the time, that would mean that they would be at least 97 just to watch the premier of the movie. So yeah, impossible.
PhilipWaterford t1_iuetzgc wrote
That's some serious thinking.
I was just going by my great-grandmother telling me stories of saying goodbye to a friend who sailed/died on the titanic and my nan is dead a long time now.
Loggerdon t1_iuevj9j wrote
My favorite:
Tina Fey hosting the Oscars: "Gravity: the movie that proves George Clooney would rather fly off into space and die than spend another minute with a woman his age".
farmer_palmer t1_iuewv2l wrote
How's rocket science school going?
gorka_la_pork t1_iuewx9v wrote
There was a real life ship called the Titanic II. It sank in the harbor. The hubris of man.
farmer_palmer t1_iuewy6c wrote
I was cheering on the iceberg.
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Lost-Calligrapher-16 t1_iuexybj wrote
They usually break up with him because they can’t keep up with his party lifestyle
pertobello t1_iueyrkp wrote
Aw man, then all that effort to make the movie historically accurate was for naught
These-House5915 t1_iuezfo2 wrote
Some people do live more than 97 years, though..?
uthinxo t1_iuezzo5 wrote
2 Titanic 2 Furious
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Some-Register-3901 t1_iuf06rc wrote
Yes, of course, but still improbable
Motorboat_Jones t1_iuf09t4 wrote
Don't forget Titanic vs. USS Indianapolis
scepticratic t1_iuf0hkw wrote
Okay I still haven’t seen that movie. My response to inquiries has always been your joke. I am stunned at your experience.
bhl88 t1_iuf0lbb wrote
willthesane t1_iuf0tf9 wrote
I can believe 90 percent 9f scientific theories are false. But they are shown to be false or incomplete and we make a better theory.
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911art t1_iuf2zpy wrote
I had a date once that after we saw the Martian with Matt Damon she asked if it was based on a true story. I would say that there wasn't another date after that but honestly the sex was good enough to put up with crazy for a while. But that's a whole another story.
[deleted] t1_iuf5vm6 wrote
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Mrphoton8 t1_iuf67en wrote
NOT WORTH IT STILL, USE THE INTERNET FOR PORN! sheesh
tolonena t1_iuf6scv wrote
Snakes on the Titanic
Dilaudid2meetU t1_iuf6v5o wrote
True, I heard stories about my great-great-grandfather catching Titanic when it was in Theaters way back in 1997. I can’t imagine anybody could have a grandfather that was alive back then.
Dilaudid2meetU t1_iuf75ii wrote
They made one with Robert Pattinson as a Vampire “Twitanic”
Pgapete1960 t1_iuf7myn wrote
Titanic did not sink.
PhilipWaterford t1_iuf7ufl wrote
In my case it was a great-grandmother (passed away in the 80's) who in 1912 had tea with a friend that was leaving for the States and died a few days later. She could still relate that story when she couldn't remember your name.
JohnMcDreck t1_iuf7wxa wrote
Leo's age might change but not the one of his gf
Dilaudid2meetU t1_iuf7z83 wrote
Read my comment again, I think you missed the joke.
PhilipWaterford t1_iuf8bmr wrote
Aha 🙂
Posting while half watching F1 🙄
gorka_la_pork t1_iuf93cn wrote
It did, but it's not as spectacular as it sounds. It was 16 feet long and sprang a leak when an old repair came apart. I like to imagine someone was playing "My Heart Will Go On" badly on a $3 slide whistle.
Aggressive-Prior-785 t1_iuf94rp wrote
reallygood one xD
Dilaudid2meetU t1_iuf9i8q wrote
It’s a weak joke anyway - great story though. I had a great aunt with dementia. We were playing the game with a fuzzy tennis ball and Velcro mitts in a park. After two throws I always had to tell her how to play again. Really weirded out 7 year old me.
mrsashleyjwilliams t1_iuf9o46 wrote
It took me a long time to convince a coworker that Jack and Rose were not historically factual people.
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Obelix13 t1_iufa0w7 wrote
Don’t. Leo couldn’t hold the door and we all know how that ends up.
jet_heller t1_iufapog wrote
My theory is that's when they realize what a tool he is so he makes it look like he broke up with them.
Dogettt t1_iufb0o6 wrote
E-explain?
InevitableCry5883 t1_iufb4rr wrote
I figured they iced him out , gave him the cold shoulder.
Savannah_Lion t1_iufbmcu wrote
I'll just leave this here and pretend nothing is wrong.
ProfessorThen7319 t1_iufbqun wrote
I saw this in a youtube comment section earlier.
Pgapete1960 t1_iufbr81 wrote
It was a JP Morgan insurance scam.
Dogettt t1_iufbu37 wrote
I really hope you aren't serious.
Pgapete1960 t1_iufc8nt wrote
What wasn’t revealed was that when the Titanic was found 3km down,2 letters were missing on the side of the ship revealing an M and a P……….. It was the Olympic……. Titanic’s sister ship.
Dogettt t1_iufcdzr wrote
Mmh. What else is also 'faked'?
Pgapete1960 t1_iufcvyf wrote
babyteddie t1_iuffmdo wrote
I mean there’s a second titanic that going to sail the same path as the original, so it’s only a matter of time
TheProfessionalEjit t1_iufg554 wrote
There was room on that door.
peb396 t1_iufgu2w wrote
Crazy sex is fun, fascinating sex ... until she learns where you work and live.
peb396 t1_iufhnoe wrote
"Jack, I'll never let go."
<hears whistle from rescue boat>
<pries his cold, stiff, purple fingers from hers and shoves his ass into the dark abyss>
Hud1289 t1_iufj7kp wrote
Went to see Wonder Woman with my ex and was legitimately asked if it was based on a true story and who won the war.. least one of the reasons they’re an ex
braellyra t1_iufjs1s wrote
I love that Adam & Jamie actually tested it super thoroughly on Mythbusters. (Turns out it would be impossible to keep the door afloat with 2 people on it, unless they used their life vests to support the door)
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SyphiliticScaliaSayz t1_iufkr2z wrote
Raise the Titanic was really a book and movie.
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fermat1432 t1_iufmy8w wrote
kashmir_stg t1_iufnhu7 wrote
Titanic 2; Electric Buggaloo
Bipedal_Warlock t1_iufnqff wrote
Hilarious now but kind of a dick move then
fermat1432 t1_iufo1bb wrote
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coloa t1_iufpsmw wrote
Because the Viet Cong bombed Hiroshima.
PizzaLunchables0405 t1_iufpxlz wrote
I read this whole comment waiting for a punchline
artsytiff t1_iufrx2b wrote
I mean… cowboys were real.
shuckster t1_iufse8b wrote
Funny, yes, but I’m surprised nobody as mentioned sister ship Britannic, which also sunk.
Express-Can7822 t1_iufsv15 wrote
like count was at 1912…
WaisTom t1_iufu2nu wrote
And Aliens are also defined as illegal immigrants but that's considered racist.
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E_B_Jamisen t1_iufx05f wrote
Well I mean technically the Alamo could be considered cowboys vs aliens, though in this case it would have been the Americans that were the aliens …
E_B_Jamisen t1_iufx4oh wrote
It wasn’t til the 4th paragraph that I realized this wasn’t a joke …
WaisTom t1_iufxdkr wrote
Muchacho vs Aliens
E_B_Jamisen t1_iufxe42 wrote
Yep. Like the Bohr model of the atom. It wasn’t right, but it helped us move towards better understanding.
E_B_Jamisen t1_iufxikz wrote
Glad I’m not the only one!!
E_B_Jamisen t1_iufxzqi wrote
You need to put a spoiler warning on your comment. >! Jesus fucking dies? No reason to read the New Testament now!! !<
E_B_Jamisen t1_iufy7bp wrote
Did you tell her your heart will go on?
JSwag1310 t1_iufy82j wrote
My mother had to explain to my brother and I that Rufio in Peter Pan, didn't actually die and was just an actor who was, and I quote, "probably enjoying a burger at McDonald's as we speak." Don't know why but that part always stuck with me.
E_B_Jamisen t1_iufzcxq wrote
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m9y6 t1_iug2kmg wrote
Vaqueros vs Aliens.
icepyrox t1_iug3lax wrote
So I guess this is one of those jokes that works because you wouldn't have enough time to work out the impossibility before the punchline and therefore still laugh a t the ol switcharoo
UrbanDoriHunter t1_iug3vf6 wrote
Watched water world with an ex. When they finally found the last tinny bit of land I said, wow look it’s the top of Mt Everest. They said I was stupid, Mt Everest is in the Himalayas…
krunchykoolwhip t1_iug4cna wrote
My son was young and thought it was a 007 movie.
justbrowsing1880 t1_iug4o76 wrote
Girl seemed gullible, opportunity missed to marry her! Imagine telling her that [—————-] really is 6 inches!
BreakfastInBedlam t1_iug5e5q wrote
2 Titanics 1 Cup
Blackhole_Star_yum t1_iug78ef wrote
They still are real lmao, I went to high school with some kids and that's what their family does for a living. And they're the richest families in the area. They also make really cringy tiktoks.
The_Amazing_Emu t1_iug8jz5 wrote
When I was a kid, I thought Babe was based on a true story. Something about the intro made it sound like it was based on historical events.
TomoyoHoshijiro t1_iug9886 wrote
So, honey, you know how sometimes things break up?
coarsing_batch t1_iug9nfb wrote
I ask if he fucked her brains out, but clearly somebody beat him to it.
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ozjd t1_iugbsml wrote
Wait, it's not? 😲
Forged04 OP t1_iugcud3 wrote
Those dammed nasa guys faked the moon landing too!! I know it! They even filmed on sight to make it as realistic as possible!!!
sorryibitmytongue t1_iugcy1l wrote
But the joke doesn’t actually say he was on the titanic. It works cos that’s what you assume it means at first, but after the reveal he was watching the film there’s no reason to think he was ever on the ship. I just assumed it meant he had learned about the historical event and went to the cinema to warn people.
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SHALLOWassgasm t1_iugeube wrote
Cause she had small tits
andmig205 t1_iugf6q5 wrote
His loss. She was such a catch.
Brewtality76 t1_iugjp8d wrote
Titanic is my favorite movie.
Anything that goes down for three hours straight is bound to be great.
Revolutionary-Lie544 t1_iugno05 wrote
I love clive Cussler work.
willthesane t1_iugntn8 wrote
Yep, it was useful. Being right isn't as important as being useful.
aioncan t1_iugnty4 wrote
Wasn’t there enough room for two people on that huge door
R-E-D-D-l-T t1_iugnxb5 wrote
I would’ve just corrected her, not knowing something can happen to anyone. If she gracefully accepts the new information, what’s wrong then? There are far bigger red flags in people than not knowing if the Titanic was real or not.
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DescriptionAshamed85 t1_iugpkhh wrote
a science denying liar? I try not to associate with republicans.
MaggieJaneRiot t1_iugrkj9 wrote
😂😂😂
horned1 t1_iuguvz5 wrote
Jesus vs Aliens
peb396 t1_iugvfph wrote
I certainly thought so...
MadHaberdascher t1_iugx0r5 wrote
Wait for it .... Awiens!
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enjoi_baggy t1_iugy9pm wrote
And aliens probably are too. The many conspiracy theorists surrounding the subject impact its legitimacy, unfortunately.
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utkarsh_reloaded t1_iugznbi wrote
i sure hope u associate with only independents cause democrats are worse.
zombie_chrisbrains t1_iugzqyd wrote
I was in a queue at the video store when the film came out on DVD (back in the day!) and some brainless woman wanted to rent it. She asked the clerk if it was any good and he said "the special effects are great, the sinking of the ship is really well done, very realistic", and she replied "Well, you've just bloody ruined it for me now!"
IKnowThatIsTrue t1_iugzwh2 wrote
True story 😄😜😅
mountaingoatgod t1_iuh3iu7 wrote
Was she a Christian?
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starfyredragon t1_iuhe6bd wrote
Reminds me of a guy that claimed the G-spot was a myth women made up to shame men. He, also, did not get a second date.
starfyredragon t1_iuhehrg wrote
I really wouldn't call them "still real".
There's lots of posers, but land is sectioned up so much that actual cowboys (aka, shepards for cows) who guide cows across large vistas fatting them up while leading them to the destination to sell, are kind of non-existant now.
Also, people have a tendency to conflate actual cowboys with sphegetti western cowboys, which were faker than Sasquatch in a Polaroid shop.
Tidesticky t1_iuhf89s wrote
So Leonardo actually died in real life?
Tidesticky t1_iuhfk6w wrote
When was Sasquatch in a Polaroid shop? Do Polaroid shops make much money now days?
Tidesticky t1_iuhfq9g wrote
Well, he did hit 714 home runs so there's that
Tidesticky t1_iuhfzw4 wrote
Did she ever go to Godzilla?
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Haywoodjablowme1029 t1_iuhk6ev wrote
Dodged a bullet. She probably wouldn't have let you on the door with her either.
kqrtikgupta t1_iuhl3hp wrote
Rise of the planet of the titanic
JaxTaylor2 t1_iuhtm4i wrote
Whole wheat is not the same thing as whole grain Billy!
alilbleedingisnormal t1_iuhzwnn wrote
Reminds me of Brian's girlfriend on Family Guy.
GroundbreakingWall39 t1_iuir0nn wrote
If you've seen Once upon a time in Hollywood, there are some pricelessly hilarious moments of interaction with a ten-year-old girl. You can feel Leo working to stay in character without cracking up. Quentin Tarantino is a great writer-director.
941893 t1_iud3ygq wrote
Tre story.My first wife said she wanted to see this movie.I told her there was no point, we all know how it ends.She looked at me like ‟sure you do”....I then told her the boat sinks thinking I was being funny.
She got mad at me for spoiling the end of the movie - She‘s not my current wife.