The rabbit and the bear

Submitted by jptrooper24 t3_z57ubv in Jokes

One day a bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods, when suddenly a magic stork flys down from the sky and calls the two of them over.

The stork says he's seen them be aggressive to eachother for weeks now and he'll offer them both 3 wishes each if they stop. The bear being greedy says "I'm going first" so the stork says Ok and asks the bear his first wish..

"I want and big huge bear cock says the bear, so I can fuck the shit outta the other bears with my big bear cock". The stork waves his magic wand and gives the bear his Big huge bear cock.

He turns to the rabbit for his first wish. "I want a motorcycle helmet" says the rabbit. A little confused the stork says okay and waves his magic wand and gives the rabbit a motorcycle helmet. He turns to the bear and asks for his second wish.

"I want all the other bears in these woods to be turned to female he says, so I can fuck them all with my big bear cock". The stork waves his magic wand and turns all the bears in the surrounding forest to female, he turns to the rabbit for his second wish..

"I want a motorcycle" says the rabbit. Okay says the stork and waves his magic wand and gives the rabbit a motorcycle. Then turns to the bear for his last wish.

"I want all the bears in the rest of the world to be female so I can fuck them all with my big bear cock" says the bear. So the stork waves his wand and turns all the bears in the world to female and the bear looks pleased. So he asks the rabbit for his final wish.

The rabbit pauses for a second, puts on the helmet and climbs on the bike, starts it up and then he says "I wish the Bear was gay"

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Comments

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dimavon317 t1_ixujjqa wrote

That one friend who always loves to ruin your happiness

286

solemnlyOvergrow932 t1_ixul8ga wrote

I thought this was going to be this joke:

>A bear and a rabbit are in the woods taking a shit.
>
>The bear says to the rabbit, ‟Hey rabbit, you got a problem with shit sticking to your fur?”
>
>The rabbit replies, ‟No, bear, I don‘t.”
>
>So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with him.

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kacak3 t1_ixulqne wrote

That’s a fat R.I.P

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the_wessi t1_ixun32o wrote

No no no no. The first wish of the rabbit was a backpack full of carrots, the second one was the motorcycle and the third one was the gay thing. Rabbits don’t wear helmets.

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catsRspies t1_ixuvhxt wrote

Replying to solemnlyOvergrow932 (#685,062)

I think the punchline is: So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

Goes like this

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods.

Bear turns to the rabbit and says, "Excuse me, do you have problems with shit sticking to your fur?"

The rabbit says, "No."

So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

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wadedoto t1_ixuzi8u wrote

That must have been unbearable

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keyman716 t1_ixv172x wrote

Lol, long but worth it!!

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Indaflow t1_ixvebuo wrote

One day there is a rabbit and a dear both shitting in the woods.

The bear turn to the rabbit and says “don’t you hate it when the shit gets stuck to your fur”

The rabbit says “that doesn’t happen to Me I just shit these little pellets.”

The bear grabs the rabbit, wipes his ass and says “we’ll now you do.”

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Tazo3 t1_ixvisal wrote

Repost but still funny as fuck

0

jejunum32 t1_ixvr6xk wrote

Replying to solemnlyOvergrow932 (#685,062)

I hate to be that guy but if the rabbit says shit doesn’t stick to his fur then why would the bear wipe his ass with him? Shit wouldn’t leave the bear and go to the rabbit fur.

We use toilet paper bc shit sticks to toilet paper.

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BodaciousBadongadonk t1_ixvvri3 wrote

Replying to jejunum32 (#691,178)

That's why he asks if he has a problem with it instead. I was trying to think of this one at work a while ago and couldn't quite remember it right, instead I said "do you have an issue with shit sticking to your fur?"

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SmirkingMan t1_ixvwwg6 wrote

You fucked up the copy-paste entirely, your bear's 2nd and 3rd wish are identical, you smelly octopus' arsehole. SMH.

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mango_boii t1_ixw4drj wrote

Okay but when does the bear wipe his ass with the rabbit?

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kyleluvscoffee t1_ixw6vu0 wrote

Replying to the_wessi (#685,356)

The helmet would have to have holes for his ears or else they would get all smushed up inside the helmet and that wouldn't be very comfortable for the rabbit. Why would he wish for that? he should wish for a helmet with holes in it for his ears. Just saying that would probably be the more logical choice.

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MisterVictor13 t1_ixwfyvz wrote

Why did the bear wish for the same thing twice?

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jejunum32 t1_ixwhhg4 wrote

Replying to BodaciousBadongadonk (#691,738)

Problem with shit sticking to his fur? I imagine a rabbit would say yes if shit actually stuck to his fur. If he says no, then that means shit don’t stick to his fur.

If shit don’t stick to his fur then he would make bad toilet paper

5