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Trevor965 OP t1_j1sc9g3 wrote

Replying to [deleted] (#1,083,144)

Dude, there's over 24 million users on this subreddit, there is bound to be the same joke tucked away here somewhere, say like, from 4 years ago or some shit. Keep your wig on

16

toughpollen968 t1_j1scekl wrote

As a quadriplegic，I wont stand for these kinds of jokes.

327

marfred76 t1_j1sd0l5 wrote

Where there is a wheel, there is a way.

619

Trevor965 OP t1_j1sfh7v wrote

Replying to amhscuur (#1,083,563)

Finally! Someone gets it! And also, NEW people come and join this subreddit almost every week who have probably never heard of these jokes before, so they'll hopefully get a good chuckle outta them

7

Bruhdale-dingle t1_j1sfzs2 wrote

He can just hide inside a cabbage patch, he’s already a veget

3

Bruhdale-dingle t1_j1sg0cq wrote

He can just hide inside a cabbage patch, he’s already a vegetable

−4

Glass-Ad1766 t1_j1smxj0 wrote

Oh Shit! That’s funny stuff! I started laughing so hard, my wife looked at me funny. I shared with her and she lost her shot too! We’re still laughing!

9

TottalDamnation t1_j1sps8d wrote

Low-key its more funny that someone that can't even walk stole your jacket, then your joke is

3

isoman2kx t1_j1sr6lq wrote

Hahaha gad and the one 1⃣ that is not working ⚒ and not for a long period but the other one 1⃣ is not working ⚒ it would have been the only way I can 🥫 to it all and the fact is the salary is very good morning 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

−5

maclovin67 t1_j1su3mk wrote

To the person who stole my antidepressants? I hope you're happy now!

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TooShiftyForYou t1_j1su6it wrote

My wheelchair using girlfriend broke up with me.

She said I pushed her around and was talking too much behind her back.

So I stole her wheelchair.

She'll come crawling back.

26

tompackman t1_j1svebo wrote

This is a Milton Jones joke! If you like it you should check him out, he’s incredible

1

[deleted] t1_j1svwxr wrote

Now only the faint squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. Of rusted wheels. Coming closer. Closer. CLOSER

1

leonscum t1_j1t26r1 wrote

What do you call an emaciated, toothless, junkie in a wheelchair stealing hub caps?

​

​

A West Virginian.

1

sladog6 t1_j1t27mi wrote

If I ever see you again I’ll ……

1

chirp23 t1_j1t3o0g wrote

You can’t run but you can hide

3

DrawingConfident8067 t1_j1tjdiv wrote

My ex stole my heart, so in turn I stole her wheelchair.

Guess who came crawling back

10

fullinversion82 t1_j1tn9oj wrote

To the man in the reflective vest who stole my running shoes:

You can run but you can't hide!

5

General_Freed t1_j1tqpfu wrote

To whoever stole my Microsoft Office Suite.

I will find you. You have my Word!

Outlook not so good for you...

24

Cpt_Copycat t1_j1tu15d wrote

Replying to toughpollen968 (#1,083,223)

A teenage boy takes a quadriplegic girl on a date to dinner and the movies. At the end of the night out, he drives her back home and they start making out in his car. He tells the girl he feels uncomfortable doing this where her parents could come outside and catch them in the act. She says not to worry because she has a place they can go.

So he helps her in her chair and she tells him to wheel her into the backyard. When they get in the back, she shows him a huge weeping willow tree that they can hide under and says he can do whatever he wants to her. Under the tree, she shows him two branches that can prop her up and makes raunchy, passionate love to her.

When they finish, he dresses himself and her, puts back into her chair, wheels her to the front door, and knocks. When her father sees the young man, he thanks him. The boy feels very uncomfortable because of what he just did to the man's daughter and asks, "Why are you thanking me?" "Because son," the father answers, "You are the first boy to take her out of the tree."

15

sus_username_69 t1_j1u3ke4 wrote

To the person who peeks at my phone while watching Gladiator : Are you not entertained?

1

Spy_Mouse t1_j1u4dxo wrote

If they can't see me rollin' They can't be hatin'

3

BenSaked t1_j1uaiwf wrote

The wheel weaves as the wheel wills.

3

red-evil t1_j1v5083 wrote

To the person who stole my Viagara...... Its very hard to hide it, isn't it?

1

Big-End-9824 t1_j1vvrue wrote

To the person who stole my anti depressants. I hope your happy now.

3

LaylaDaLova t1_j1vyj2h wrote

Exactly he can roll but it ain’t gone stop you from chasing after his ass! 🤣

1

jaiagreen t1_j1wa2w1 wrote

Don't worry, he won't get far on foot!

1

HolyMangoYT t1_j1wbr3b wrote

To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you; I have contacts.

1