Submitted by TenRingRedux t3_10dtgxh in Jokes
Both were fired on the spot.
Submitted by TenRingRedux t3_10dtgxh in Jokes
Both were fired on the spot.
The tomato slicer is a person?
It's a variation of an older joke. The implication is that "tomato slicer" is a job position.
Cucumber slicer worked better when the joke first appeared in 1890.
the penis and the tomato slicer were fired?
Without this nobody would understand. I Handnt a clue
Normally on here as the pickle slicer.
It’s funny that people don’t get it
Yeah. The phrasing doesn't work as well as the original joke.
>Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
>"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
>"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
>"Oh, Bill, you didn't."
>"Yes, I did."
> "My God, Bill, what happened?"
> "I got fired."
>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
>"Oh...she got fired too."
Dish washer might work better.
There is no one job of doing nothing but slicing tomatoes.
Ooh thank you
Oh god now I can’t get that image out of my head
Ha! Took me a sec.
A few of us have heard this joke before, there's different variants but the punchline is usually a bit more clear that "thing you thought was a machine" is actually a woman.
The restaurant worker, and the person who sliced tomatoes, who is also presumably a restaurant worker.
The choice of jobs here leaves much to be desired. It's like having an AI who actually understands the setup and the punchline rewrite the joke, and it does it in the worst way possible.
Could be that "the tomato slicer" is a machine that was "fired" (switched ON) on the spot?
Adorable.
I always knew it as the pickle slicer joke.
Yes, but she's at least the very least retired by now
McDonald's uses the Tomato Witch, ten or so slices for your trouble.
Hurr hurr hurr never gets old
In the coffee maker. He and the barista were both fired and are now banned from all Starbucks locations.
While the older joke may be the correct answer, fired in a restaurant also means in the process of cooking “fire hamburger for table twenty” The dick got cooked
Then I guess myself and several others are nobody, cause that was easy.
I masturbated in front of the dishwasher
She seemed to like it but the boss didn't find it acceptable
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What's that got to do with anything? /Jk
Woman moment ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
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Having sex at work posts are so common this week
I heard it was a lettuce slicer, but there was not a shred of evidence......
Lucky there are a few of us geniuses left, eh?
And left a sticky film on the dishes.
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"A deli worker was fired when he got caught with his penis in the bacon slicer"
"Oh my god, what happened?"
"She got fired too"
I thought this was a Darwin Award for a moment lol
The cucumber slicer found she likes cucumbers better
Oh god no........
I gotta confess. I thought the tomato slicer was a machine, shaped like a tomato, that cut fruit. And the guy, and his now severed tomato shaped penis were fired. As if the penis had a job. 10/10
I don't get it reads again huh, wha- oooooh, i get it now
This guy didn’t even get the delivery right. He’s supposed to tell his wife he was fired for sticking his dick in the pickle slicer, then she asks “what happened with the pickle slicer” and he says “oh, she was fired too”
Oh I am sure there are... Think the canning industry... :)
We should change our names to Gene/Jean, lol
No sad feeling for restaurant worker but tomato slicer, it's no easy job with all tomato and slicing..
THANK you. I couldn’t get past my visceral response to having one’s penis sliced and diced.
Right, further complicating a botched joke. Plus, for a minute I was thinking about fried tomatoes – thanks, dyslexia.
Certified woman moment
I caught my dad with his cock in the biscuit tin. I asked Mum what was going on and was told to ignore him, 'Hes fucking crackers'
This joke can be inclusive quite easily, as well.
“I got fired for sticking my duck in the dish washer.”
“What happened to the dishwasher?”
“He got fired too.”
See, inclusive.
Well yeah but they thought tomatoes were poisonous so naturally they wouldn't have them in a professional kitchen.
A friend of mine once showed up at a Halloween party completely naked except for a bag of peanuts draped over his member.
I caught him at the door and asked "Are you fecking crazy?!"
He replied "No, I'm fecking nuts!"
"Oldie but goodie".
I don't think they had cucumbers in 1890.
Corn huskers maybe.
As a MOF, it works well with corn, corn shucker, corn husker.
Yeah! He got caught with in in the corn shucker! in 1890.
This one took me a minute
I heard it was a pickle peeler...
I hope you’re joking and don’t seriously think cucumbers didn’t exist in 1890.
Aren’t they GMO fruits made from pickles
Fired him, kept her.
I forgot the show this was from but one character was a super rich guy in his mansion:
Girl: “How does your dish washer work?”
Billionaire: “You just wordlessly press the trays into his chest”
Pickle pee? Pump a rum?
joking? like they do on r/jokes?
Nah, she was fired and couldn't find work anywhere as a cucumber slicer because people told this joke for the next 130 years.
Pickle slicer
Yeah I should know better.
Given what sub we’re in surely I can safely assume you’re not serious…
This is Ron White's joke!
I heard that he accidentally sat on the bacon slicer and got behind in his work.
Yes, I lent it to him.
DeplorableKurt t1_j4n3lmg wrote
I don’t get it