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pladin517 t1_j4n4ukl wrote

Cucumber slicer worked better when the joke first appeared in 1890.

404

Buddy2269 t1_j4n64xj wrote

Normally on here as the pickle slicer.

13

baker8678 t1_j4n68xq wrote

It’s funny that people don’t get it

5

enderverse87 t1_j4n6vei wrote

Yeah. The phrasing doesn't work as well as the original joke.

>Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill indicated that he'd be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home absolutely ashen. His wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.

>"What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

>"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"

>"Oh, Bill, you didn't."

>"Yes, I did."

> "My God, Bill, what happened?"

> "I got fired."

>"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"

>"Oh...she got fired too."

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Sure-Ad9633 t1_j4n9d97 wrote

Oh god now I can’t get that image out of my head

0

ringobob t1_j4ndsru wrote

A few of us have heard this joke before, there's different variants but the punchline is usually a bit more clear that "thing you thought was a machine" is actually a woman.

8

ringobob t1_j4ne9gn wrote

The restaurant worker, and the person who sliced tomatoes, who is also presumably a restaurant worker.

The choice of jobs here leaves much to be desired. It's like having an AI who actually understands the setup and the punchline rewrite the joke, and it does it in the worst way possible.

1

mcallanman t1_j4ng7gn wrote

Could be that "the tomato slicer" is a machine that was "fired" (switched ON) on the spot?

−3

Dickcheese-a1 t1_j4o0ejb wrote

McDonald's uses the Tomato Witch, ten or so slices for your trouble.

1

og-lollercopter t1_j4oathc wrote

In the coffee maker. He and the barista were both fired and are now banned from all Starbucks locations.

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cantseeshittles t1_j4oqrcl wrote

I masturbated in front of the dishwasher

She seemed to like it but the boss didn't find it acceptable

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ramboton t1_j4pcicx wrote

I heard it was a lettuce slicer, but there was not a shred of evidence......

1

stormtrooperbob321 t1_j4psd1o wrote

"A deli worker was fired when he got caught with his penis in the bacon slicer"

"Oh my god, what happened?"

"She got fired too"

1

Jhymm t1_j4q3y3u wrote

I gotta confess. I thought the tomato slicer was a machine, shaped like a tomato, that cut fruit. And the guy, and his now severed tomato shaped penis were fired. As if the penis had a job. 10/10

1

lesser_tom t1_j4q6b4c wrote

I don't get it reads again huh, wha- oooooh, i get it now

2

listerinebreath t1_j4q6ugn wrote

This guy didn’t even get the delivery right. He’s supposed to tell his wife he was fired for sticking his dick in the pickle slicer, then she asks “what happened with the pickle slicer” and he says “oh, she was fired too”

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Narayan4632 t1_j4q9x56 wrote

No sad feeling for restaurant worker but tomato slicer, it's no easy job with all tomato and slicing..

1

phonlyone t1_j4qh6xi wrote

I caught my dad with his cock in the biscuit tin. I asked Mum what was going on and was told to ignore him, 'Hes fucking crackers'

2

TenRingRedux OP t1_j4qqhxe wrote

A friend of mine once showed up at a Halloween party completely naked except for a bag of peanuts draped over his member.

I caught him at the door and asked "Are you fecking crazy?!"

He replied "No, I'm fecking nuts!"

3

TenRingRedux OP t1_j4qquh1 wrote

I don't think they had cucumbers in 1890.

Corn huskers maybe.

As a MOF, it works well with corn, corn shucker, corn husker.

Yeah! He got caught with in in the corn shucker! in 1890.

−6

Codate t1_j4qqze6 wrote

This one took me a minute

1

JDMultralight t1_j4qzpx6 wrote

I forgot the show this was from but one character was a super rich guy in his mansion:

Girl: “How does your dish washer work?”

Billionaire: “You just wordlessly press the trays into his chest”

4