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xilaim t1_ja73hse wrote

Oscar Pistorius murdered his girlfriend when she surprised him.

0

Notabot1305 t1_ja73ott wrote

Not finishing a joke sucks just like you

37

markymadz t1_ja7487p wrote

You should really visit your gynecologist

0

Nelac-Guile t1_ja7540k wrote

I dreamt I was binAry code when I had the flu

7

bigzahncup t1_ja75pz0 wrote

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Everyone else eats peanut butter

Except my grandmother

She drives a Buick.

1

mh-travelphotos t1_ja766mi wrote

.. I have five fingers and the middle one is for you.

56

[deleted] t1_ja76dyh wrote

I’m allergic to bullshit, ACHOO!

10

Kimchi-slap t1_ja77sv5 wrote

Pornhub is down, your picture will do.

110

cunaylqt t1_ja77z1v wrote

I actually left this note for my boyfriend a couple of years ago, on vacation we had come back to the hotel after a particularly vwild night of drinking. Went to bed and sometime in the middle of the night he was either too trashed or was sleepwalking and "lost" the bathroom.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue. forget about jogging, cause you pissed in my shoe.

19

OnJetways t1_ja78lw7 wrote

You finished too early

Like you always do

51

drowned_beliefs t1_ja7cim1 wrote

You take the blue violet… the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red rose… you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.

1

Purple_Poetry_6674 t1_ja7dnst wrote

Roses are red, violets are blue, But Epstein didn't kill himself, it's true.

1

Edwin1070 t1_ja7ffcs wrote

I'm using my hand But I'm thinking of you

41

zharrt t1_ja7fm3n wrote

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

Dating is hard,

Please send nudes

6

bigjonny13 t1_ja7j6x9 wrote

Reposts are bad, and your joke is too

2

RJP2128 t1_ja7jpqh wrote

I've got a knife, get in the van

19

jfq722 t1_ja7l5vf wrote

I have split personality disorder, and so do I.

5

Quillcy t1_ja7mhuo wrote

Poems are hard, so am I

11

snoppleinc t1_ja7ovgk wrote

C Vodka is cheaper than a dinner for 2

5

imdfantom t1_ja7pitd wrote

Only idiots finish this joke for you.

1

ketsueki82 t1_ja7rkb0 wrote

Roses are red, Cactus is thorny, Come to bed, Cause me so horny.

J/K aloevera much.

4

NDodma01 t1_ja7ta84 wrote

… Iris’s are peepo but what’s that to you (we all enjoy a flash of bloomers)

1

nonamesleft-- t1_ja7u6ql wrote

I agreed to record it, but didn't expect a crew.

6

Nothalffast t1_ja7uyy3 wrote

Most poems rhyme, but this one doesn’t.

1

antistress1 t1_ja7v90n wrote

Roses are red, violets are blue, poetry is hard. Husky.

1

QueenRatigan t1_ja7vutc wrote

Mostly they're flat,

'Cause they're under my shoe.

1

drounds2 t1_ja7vvj3 wrote

I’m gonna barf, ‘cause you smell worse than my poo

1

BGDDisco t1_ja7yioe wrote

So are your lips, because I strangled you.

1

Hamerynn t1_ja7yipf wrote

I was born human, what happened to you?

1

patcat21 t1_ja7z7z4 wrote

Enough poems come eat my ass too!

1

Ptoot t1_ja811tm wrote

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the six I'll be the nine

5

MegaMinerd t1_ja81xu6 wrote

OP I know the comments are always funnier but you have to at least try.

2

OKRealtor t1_ja84vym wrote

....some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

2

seroleg t1_ja853w3 wrote

Hi.
I am Hitler.
Nice to meet
You

1

cass3us t1_ja8as7z wrote

Pornhub is down, your moms Facebook will do

1

_atrocious_ t1_ja8baun wrote

..if i had a tomato, I'd throw it at you. (Actually wrote that to a valentine in elementary school.)

1

LegoCMFanatic t1_ja8hgui wrote

Roses are red

Violets are blue

This post is a lame joke

And OP, so are you

1

MaxKepler197 t1_ja8ja6d wrote

Sugar is sweet and so are you

The roses are wilted the violets are dead, the sugar bowls empty and so is your head

1

effigy22 t1_ja8rao0 wrote

I'm shit at poetry, show us your tits.

1

drumorgan t1_ja8t5y9 wrote

I'm not writing this joke
why don't you?

1

peeper_77 t1_ja8t7wv wrote

Some poems rhyme...and some don't

1

mdh431 t1_ja8uzla wrote

Roses are red

And it should be said

That violets are violet

Not fucking red.

1