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windmillninja t1_j9aqecg wrote

“Bless your heart” if you’re from the south

141

MortQ42 t1_j9aqwqt wrote

Have the day you deserve.

36

jadayne t1_j9ar76i wrote

I would not attend your funeral, my good sir. However, I would very much approve of it.

70

Borp5150 t1_j9ark78 wrote

“I think I have had enough of you for this life, goodbye”

3

mightysmiter19 t1_j9awinp wrote

"The only redeeming quality you have is that sometimes you leave the room"

3

Ogodei t1_j9b18ft wrote

I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.

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CFCYYZ t1_j9bcrjb wrote

>"I never forget a face, but in your case, I'll be glad to make an exception."

- Groucho Marx

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Killersmurph t1_j9bd9bs wrote

I can't call you a c*nt, that would be giving you too much credit for warmth and depth...

1

Shreemaan420 t1_j9bkx38 wrote

Replying to MortQ42 (#1,885,003)

Reminds me of the time when I made a dua (wish) for someone on reddit saying that may they and their family be treated the same way he treats others" and the guy went all ballestic on me saying that I was wishing ill for him and his family. And this after he had claimed that he and his people were the best thing in the world and never did anything bad and were victims. The irony was truly lost on him.

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nyrB2 t1_j9bqxqu wrote

i don't like mondays

1

yearsofpractice t1_j9bt4dj wrote

Used regularly in work conversations - so satisfying:

  • There we are then
  • See you next time/Tuesday/Thursday
0

Ewetootwo t1_j9bvw61 wrote

Did your mother have any children that lived?

3

thespidersarmpit t1_j9bzk9y wrote

You brighten my day twice, once when you're going, and again when you're gone

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wiltedham t1_j9ck19g wrote

"May every step you take, stub your toes." -my grandma.

0

Upst8r t1_j9dm0is wrote

Some Mondays are holidays - like today.

Happy Tuesday yourself.

1

Akbattletiger t1_j9dq2rf wrote

“I bite my thumb sir” “Do you bite your thumb at me” “No but I do bite my thumb”

1

Carteeg_Struve t1_j9ds14b wrote

“Your presence always makes me appreciate the good times more.”

2

frostyjhammer t1_j9dsdm8 wrote

“Je te déteste”.

That’s “I hate you” in a Nice way.

1

Opening-Confusion256 t1_j9du9ow wrote

I'm sorry but I need to move on. Your a disability and I can't let an extra chromosome get me down

1

Ochib t1_j9ebtci wrote

Some people bring joy into the room when they enter, some bring joy to the room when they leave. Guess which one are you

1

wiltedham t1_j9ec3kt wrote

Replying to groverjuicy (#1,897,507)

I work with a ton of aussies, I get called a cunt more often than not. I was put off, until I went drinking with them, and they explained that "strangers are called mate, your mates are cunts. There's a difference, ya fuckin bogan"

I still don't know what bogan means... do I want to know?

2

groverjuicy t1_j9ed29k wrote

Replying to wiltedham (#1,897,564)

They may be leading you astray, a bogan is a westie, a wanker, trash

If they called you a cunt though then you're alright. They reckon you're OK.

You must be a top cunt. That's good. A low cunt is a fucken dog.

Good on ya.

1

hymie0 t1_j9eybwi wrote

I was in my 40s when I suddenly understood the meaning of

"I'll see you later."

"Not if I see you first."

1

majorlieg t1_j9ezquc wrote

"I look forward to becoming better strangers"

2

intheyard305 t1_j9ft8kk wrote

I can see your a ...insert leader/president...supporter.

1