Submitted by Atalkingpizzabox t3_1142fi7 in Jokes
"You are all going to hell!" he announces. "As despite your dedicated lives you still had sins you did not repent for! However, for your services to me, I will allow you to choose your eternal punishment. You must select 3 different things I find most terrible that humans have experienced before. Each chosen will happen to you constantly forever.
The monk says: "To be ill with a plague, to be a slave and to live in darkness." He then teleports to hell.
The nun says: "To be nailed to crosses, to walk for years in boiling hot land and drown in a flood." She then teleports to hell.
And the priest says: "To always have beer, weed and hookers."