Recent comments in /f/Jokes
1963Jan t1_jegjohq wrote
Reply to comment by Dottsterisk in So two men walk into a bar at the top of a 5 floor building by IAmEggsOk
Same
[deleted] t1_jegjknp wrote
Reply to comment by Dottsterisk in So two men walk into a bar at the top of a 5 floor building by IAmEggsOk
[deleted]
Meet_My_Member t1_jegjgv6 wrote
At first I thought it said Oedipus, and expected the punchline to say “It was a real mother fucker”
Ewetootwo t1_jegjgov wrote
Reply to comment by Rough_Horror_5118 in When you die, which body part dies last? by Hwarrior12
The questions keep alternating.
corbymatt t1_jegiyex wrote
Reply to comment by DrRomeoChaire in Before there were crowbars by Beefabuckaroni
Well, that left a nasty taste in my mouth
Ooh-Rah t1_jegimvf wrote
Reply to Wife and I agreed that we don't want kids. by vartha
I tell my kid he's the son I never wanted. I figure he has a right to know.
BeholdOurMachines t1_jegimi7 wrote
Reply to I'm so dumb and out of shape by ScientistNathan
65 is a decent resting heart rate
salawow t1_jegikix wrote
Doctor: Bend over please.
Doctor: Your rectum is very tight, i'll go a bit deeper.
Doctor: Do you feel it when i move my finger like this ?
Patient: Yes, it tickles a bit
Doctor: And now ?
Patient: Oh my, don't move so fast !
Doctor: Ok, i'm done, now i will pull my finger out.
Patient: So how is my prostate ?
Doctor: Your what ?
Patient: What ??
Doctor: What ?
Altruistic-Rip4364 t1_jegi9o7 wrote
Reply to comment by hirschhalbe in My doctor told me that I had a healthy prostate. by 1963Jan
Lol. Or not trim my nails
Fit-Leg-684 t1_jeghx48 wrote
Nice one
BobT21 t1_jeghtyz wrote
One of my (at the time) very young nephews asked my also very young son why their Grandfather (my Dad) urinated so much. My son said "I think he has an enraged prostitute."
sunberrygeri t1_jeghej1 wrote
Reply to A nun is praying in her convent in rural Ireland when there is a sudden bang and a cloud of green smoke by stupidrobots
Jake and Elwood approve of this joke.
Reddit_Jax t1_jeghduz wrote
Reply to comment by Finrod_the_awesome in My doctor told me that I had a healthy prostate. by 1963Jan
I'll bet you'd be happy with weekly follow-ups if he was a she.
Professional_Denizen OP t1_jeghdb6 wrote
Reply to comment by regrettablyold in When you call your teacher mom, it’s an embarrassing mistake. by Professional_Denizen
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
KotMaOle t1_jegh4np wrote
Reply to comment by Ilela in A nun is praying in her convent in rural Ireland when there is a sudden bang and a cloud of green smoke by stupidrobots
Bob got on the bus and sat down with the nun. He liked her very much and began to talk with her, trying to pick up her but she answered him with the words:
- I'm sorry, I cannot give myself to a man, because I am devoted only to God.
At the next stop she got off the bus. When depressed Bob got off, the bus driver accosted him saying: - Listen, I can tell you something about this nun that will interest you ...
- Yes, what is it? - replied excited Bob
- She has such a habit that often at midnight you can find her alone praying and meditating in the cemetery.
Bob didn't need to be told twice. He put on a white robe, which he painted with reflective paint, glued on a false beard and set off for the cemetery at midnight, it was dark, but he saw the shapes of a kneeling nun - It's me God - he said - your prayers have been heard, I have chosen you and I want you to lay with me
- Oh sir, all right, replied the nun, but please, let's do it anally, because in the convent the Mother Superior performs routine virginity checks!
The happy guy got to work, and after the fun he tore off his robe and shouted with a smile: - hahaha It's me Bob! Seeing this, the nun tore off her robe and shouted with a smile:
- hahaha, it's me bus driver!
hirschhalbe t1_jegh2bd wrote
Reply to comment by Altruistic-Rip4364 in My doctor told me that I had a healthy prostate. by 1963Jan
Then you gotta try harder
gayprivilegedgiraffe t1_jeggt7j wrote
Reply to When you die, which body part dies last? by Hwarrior12
Your feet because leg-ends never die
regrettablyold t1_jegg3bz wrote
Reply to comment by Cheyde in I've been sober from math for three weeks. by ChaoShadow87
Now we're off on a tangent. You se(,)cant you?
Heavy-Metal-Munchkin t1_jegfvv0 wrote
Reply to When you die, which body part dies last? by Hwarrior12
Iris my case
regrettablyold t1_jegftbf wrote
Reply to comment by InvisiblePhilosophy in I've been sober from math for three weeks. by ChaoShadow87
Or adding them? I refuse to drink in my new rec room. I won't give in to my addition.
FootballerWithRizz t1_jegfqpi wrote
Without examining cause my step mom told him
ttobyhomas t1_jegfq49 wrote
Reply to I'm so dumb and out of shape by ScientistNathan
That’s barely even a joke
Altruistic-Rip4364 t1_jegfjpl wrote
Not sure how I feel about this. Can’t put my finger on it.
Bluevettes t1_jegfg2s wrote
Reply to Don't forget that today is April Fools! by MothAliens
I knew it was March 31st today (at least where I live) and you still made me check the date
AdAcceptable1700 t1_jegjq3f wrote
Reply to Why do gay people suck at telling jokes? by do_yu_koto_da
I am a wish-sexual. I wish someone was available for sex!🤣🤣