This reminds me of me, before my depression was fully treated. I did get outside - sailing in the summer, broomball in the winter. But still…. I got therapy and medication. I still remember the moment, driving to sailing, when I realized I was really looking forward to it! I’d forgotten what that felt like. Depression doesn’t take weekends off. Yours may be situational depression caused by feeling/being trapped in your industry. For me, we’ll my brain doesn’t work quite right. Either way, since your situation isn’t changing, let a professional help you get to a better mental space. It is oh so totally worth it!