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FallinFloatinFlyin t1_iudjfdr wrote

WHOA WHOA, hold your horses, buckaroo! Yes and most definitely fuck no...

Don't feed everyone your problems just because you're pissed sure (usually you tell the story from a more biased perspective because you're mad, it makes your friends mad, and tension spreads)

BUT...I was personally in a relationship and didn't realize how incredibly toxic it was. I was guided to not ask friends for advice (I would be unbiased in my telling [learned from my therapist] and genuinely wanted to actually see if I was wrong/how I could improve as a partner, if so). Meanwhile, this person would tell me that their friends hated me, said I was wrong and a piece of shit/they'd refuse to meet me, etc. They isolated me specifically so they could control me. I didn't even realize there were problems until this partner offered to meet one of said friends and shit went awry. My friend detected these behaviors and helped me get the fuck outta there.

The real LPT is a) be very selective with your friends (people who call you out on your shit are the best) and b) be very impartial when talking to your friends or make it clear "it's a vent, I'm just upset". Also be careful and watch if a "friend" is trying to control the situation themselves and purposefully make it worse.

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