My ex husband was sneaky. I’d find hidden alcohol and drugs, online romances, etc. It made me nervous all the time. I couldn’t just walk into a room he was in, use a shared computer, or even put laundry away without finding the next cause to feel hurt. I still had those nervous habits when I first met my current husband. We talked about it and he encouraged me to make every effort to raid his privacy. In the 16 years we’ve been married, I’ve never once uncovered deception. If I ever walked in on him bumping uglies with someone else, I’d sooner believe that he tripped and fell in! My advice: when someone tells you who they are by words or actions, believe it.