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MinnieShoof t1_j5rkp4u wrote

This is very novel advice… but also understand that part of the grieving process is knowing to let go.

I had my mother’s voicemails saved to an old iPhone but eventually got a new one and we turned in my wife’s old device but I kept mine because of the voicemails. A little down the road I had an employee fall on some hard time and she didn’t have a phone (but had a sim) to keep in touch so I offered her my old one. I cleared everything off except those specific voicemails and I told her as such. I eventually left the company suddenly and when I finally ran in to her the topic got around to the phone. She said about a week after I left it got damaged and she was unable to recover it or contact me, so…

I realized I hadn’t listened to them in years. I kept them as more of a charm. Part of me never expected to get that phone back, and I was a little sad at first but we ended our conversation and I felt a little relieved.

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WindowMoon OP t1_j5rr01a wrote

eh there’s no way right to grieve. telling someone they need to let go isn’t what’s best for every single person. i can hold on to what’s important to me for as long as i’d like. sorry for your loss.

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MinnieShoof t1_j5rs94z wrote

We all grieve in different ways at different times but there are fundamental archetypes that play out pretty regularly. Acceptance is usually the final one. People don’t often get there while retaining active triggers. You’re right tho - it’s not for everyone. But it’s a thought.

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WindowMoon OP t1_j5rshl2 wrote

i can accept death while having a voice mail of my mom singing happy birthday downloaded on my computer. don’t you dare tell me i can’t.

sorry but you’re trying to dictate how i deal with my feelings without any context and it’s gross. let me do what i want, and you can have your opinion but don’t double down when i tell you no. 👋

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