A marriage therapist gave us this tip.

Make a list of all the things that need to be done. Divide them into: Daily, weekly, monthly, etc. Then seperately (so the other cant see) write down how much this being done matters to you (scale of 1-10).

The person it matters to more gets ownership of that chore. You are more willing to do it if it matters to you. If the ownership list for each category is super lopsided review for chore time, difficulty, etc and try to make it fair. IE: mowing the lawn takes more time and effort that sweeping the kitchen, wiping the counters and unloading rhe dishwasher combined.

Then you each commit to own the stuff on your list, in the timefram alloted (daily, weekly, monthly, etc) and you dont do the other persona chorea or nag them as long as its getting done on time.

Implimenting this was great for communication, compromise and setting clear boundaries and expectations. Saved a ton of arguments and resentment.