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keepthetips t1_j9uhge8 wrote

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!

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If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.

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-domi- t1_j9urh2e wrote

Actually, i expect people to never even give me a passing thought, and it's always strange when i find out they remember my existence in my absence.

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TuckerCarlsonsOhface t1_j9uvbyv wrote

Weird, I think about people all the time. I notice their shape, their clothes, their mannerisms, their voice, their walk, their way of speaking, etc. And if I have to interact with them I pay even more attention.

I think most people don’t notice anything beyond themselves, and often don’t even pay attention to their own surroundings, so you’re probably mostly correct.

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666pool t1_j9vn3gu wrote

I blame high school/middle school for conditioning us. You’re around mostly the same people for years and years. They remember every little thing you did wrong to embarrass and ridicule you. They give you nicknames that stick for years. It’s horrific.

Then you leave and enter the adult world and expect similar behavior from your peers, so you spend the rest of your life defending yourself from this experience.

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TuckerCarlsonsOhface t1_j9w0sdy wrote

Replying to newherel (#1,972,391)

The key thing to focus on is it doesn’t matter what I, or anyone else thinks. I can get very self conscious simply because I know how much I see and judge about others, but I know that their life is unaffected by me noticing things about them, which made me realize I don’t care what they think about me even though I know some people will notice stuff. Some things are immutable, so it’s not like you can do anything about them anyway, and for those that aren’t I just emulate what I like about other people, because it makes me feel good.

You could go to 7-11 in a shag carpet onesie, and people would probably stare, and might even comment, but would it ruin your slurpee and corn nuts?

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socalmikester t1_j9w4qev wrote

once you realize they dont, it changes your mindset. other people have stuff going on in their lives they think is more important because it involves them

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amethystjade15 t1_j9wrrds wrote

That never helps me because I judge the shit out of other people.

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FloatandMrSunshine t1_j9x1bgb wrote

I read an article about this. It was one of those build yourself up type things. Like, worrying about how you look in a swimsuit and being self conscious. People are typically so self absorbed in their own selves that they don't pay attention to anyone else.

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Bambithegoodgirl69 t1_j9xvibf wrote

"You would care less of how much people think of you, if you realised how little they do."

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StowinMarthaGellhorn t1_j9y8ge6 wrote

This isn’t true if you’re in a position of leadership, or of envy in general. Whenever anyone, myself included, got promoted at my last workplace, I was appalled at the gossip and malice.

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Feine_b t1_j9y8wh4 wrote

Actually I got to hear recorded gossip of me to listen to. Damn those people I knew gossiped a lot about everything extremely insulted me and analysed every breath I took. To hear this absurdity helped me to not care anymore about talking of others.

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I_Want_In_Too t1_j9yhnpl wrote

You’ll never see those people in public again and they don’t know you or care about you, more than they care about themselves.

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cyberdeath666 t1_j9yx4n5 wrote

Agreed, just try not to care what people think. It generally doesn’t affect you unless you let it. Easier said than done I know, but my life became a whole lot better when I realized that caring what strangers think of me has no real impact on my life unless I hold onto it because of my own insecurities.

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