> Why is it that the states most accepting of queer people tend to be the most expensive, and the most affordable states tend to be hostile???

Because accepting states are more enjoyable places to live. Sadly, this is likely to get worse as the Christian cultists take stronger hold over many red state governments and pass laws that affect queer people, women, and minorities.... you're far from the only person in a state like that right now thinking "I need to get the fuck out of here."