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degggendorf t1_irebb5t wrote

I am more or less a New England native and feel right at home here. People keep to themselves by default, which I think of as being polite. Like, okay we're at the grocery store. We're clearly here for a reason. I'm not going to strike up a conversation with a stranger because they surely have other places to be.

But at the same time, when someone does express a need I'll (and in my experience, we'll) bend over backwards to help. Oh shit, your deck is falling apart? Here are my truck keys, go but the lumber you need and I'll meet you back at your house with all the tools we need to get it fixed.

That said, I am not sure how that squares with your experience of meeting people and becoming friends only temporarily.

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Proof-Variation7005 t1_iresmpv wrote

>Like, okay we're at the grocery store. We're clearly here for a reason. I'm not going to strike up a conversation with a stranger because they surely have other places to be.

I think if anyone talked to me at a grocery store beyond "excuse me", I'd just abandon my cart and leave.

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RI-Transplant t1_irkl9ax wrote

I always talk to random strangers at the grocery store but I’m from the Midwest. We had an extra keg left from a party and put up a “Free Beer” sign on the highway, met all sorts of people. But there’s so many apartments here it doesn’t feel like a neighborhood.

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[deleted] OP t1_irfofbo wrote

I think your experience as a native new englander sounds pretty common, I wasn’t born and raised here so it feels difficult to make friends with those who are

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degggendorf t1_irfpffw wrote

That's a good point, I bet that's it. I am definitely guilty of thinking people are odd for no good or no particular reason. I wonder if that subtle cultural difference is what gives that this person isn't one of my people feelings.

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[deleted] OP t1_irfswfl wrote

I think you’re right. I’ve actually discovered that not telling people where I grew up (a Schengen country in Europe) helps immensely in continuing the conversation

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