entomologist-cousin t1_iuhroth wrote on October 31, 2022 at 1:05 PM

A colleague once apologised to me for a time he felt he hadn’t supported me in an interaction with yet another colleague.

I had not only forgotten the incident, but also had never even considered that I might have felt annoyed at someone else who was there for not supporting me.

Which is sort of the opposite? My colleague remembered himself as an asshole for something he didn’t do to rectify something someone else did do at a time I didn’t remember.

ihatethisjob42 t1_iuhypss wrote on October 31, 2022 at 2:01 PM

I am your colleague's duplicate. Beating myself up for not meeting a standard that only exists in my head

Ttokk t1_iuhz8t3 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 2:04 PM

Setting yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.

JamzWhilmm t1_iui3k3c wrote on October 31, 2022 at 2:36 PM

Paul, for the last time we are in the middle of a heatwave. Don't burn yourself up.

ANobodyNamedNick t1_iuhzw2w wrote on October 31, 2022 at 2:09 PM

I empathize with that colleague. I beat myself up way too much over the smallest things, and feel like a gigantic asshole when I do nothing lol.

ChurchofPancake t1_iui4m25 wrote on October 31, 2022 at 2:43 PM

I think this is much more common - everybody has those embarrassing/guilty memories that keep them up at night 3 years later, but what people need to learn is that in the vast majority of cases everyone else involved has long forgotten the incident, or at least doesn’t actively think about it anymore.