Especially when one’s choice of wearing one isn’t so much of a choice or when insults with the wrong company around can lead to escalation. Even more dire when it’s a deceased person’s hat or even someone that was misunderstood for being distant. The little things can sometimes be one of the few things we have to cling on to when in time even the memories of lost ones become fading distant memories. It can be very intimidating, not just confrontational for people who have lost the surrounding of company you seem to take for granted.

Did you even bother to ask if there was any sentimental value to it or did you just make assumptions? Personally I’ve seen too much death for me to take a joke as easily as I used to, especially when it’s about something in the past when the past is something I’m still having a hard time with to let go of. I mean there’s good reasons for needing therapy sometimes, instead of just mental evaluations or assumptions based on a sliver of understanding of the underlying issues.

Having said that, I used to joke around a lot when it came to the more personal stuff because to me it was a coping mechanism and I’d rather make new fun memories than reminiscing on the painful ones. It was my way of being strong, trying to cheer people up instead of saying sorry all the time. Sorry for your loss doesn’t really cut it when hearing it from a stranger after it’s already played out. Besides it’s confrontational and can be a painful reminder.