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CompactOwl t1_jblp3d8 wrote

Reply to comment by business2690 in Where there's gender equality, people tend to live longer by LifeTableWithChairs

I, for one, think that man are not mentally there yet to raise the kids as their main job, but I also think women are in a kind of honeymoon phase with gender equality where a lot of woman rule out being the „kid raiser“ simply because they can. We kind of life in a moment where it’s looked down upon to be the one staying at home (for both men and women)

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AlleyCatStoner t1_jbmz164 wrote

“Man are not mentally there yet”

What on earth does that mean? Single-parenthood is on the rise in general, you’d have to check the stats on single motherhood vs fatherhood but it is a problem that impacts every country/population. Some people just SHOULDNT be parents, and we shouldn’t be forcing anyone to have any kids either, especially if they dont have the resources to provide adequate care.

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CompactOwl t1_jbnqz6h wrote

I meant that the social acceptance for men being the one staying at home is not equivalent than to women staying at home.

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aardvarkbjones t1_jbo6zfr wrote

I keep hearing this, but I never actually see it. The stay at home dads I know do fine.

Sometimes I think men just keep telling themselves this because it's what they've heard, but it's not actually true anymore.

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CompactOwl t1_jbo94qw wrote

Yes. That’s what I was referring to though. The stay at home dads are happy with their choice, but the non-stay-home-dads keep chatting.

I am perfectly fine with this, but I know at least one field of expertise where this is looked down upon (finance)

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aardvarkbjones t1_jbo9wi5 wrote

Finance looks down on everyone who isn't a coked-up asshole. I'd hardly use that as a standard of anything.

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CompactOwl t1_jboawp2 wrote

It’s definitely not the standard. But you can also ask the bottom line working class. For example I know a couple of construction site workers who definitely think it is unmanly to stay at home.

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aardvarkbjones t1_jbob27f wrote

I guess my social circles just don't worry about that stuff. No one I know cares.

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CompactOwl t1_jbocbyg wrote

Jeah, my friends and closer relatives also don’t care. I am not sure I would want to be friends with someone who does.

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business2690 t1_jbmoooc wrote

yeah. the problem is people seem to be unable/unwilling to have the hard society-level conversations needed to fix these issues.

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what good is it having an awesome fair and progressive society if the birth rate falls and the society crumbles.

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meanwhile places where women are being treated like used chewing gum, ladies are having kids out the wazoo.

yeah their countries are shitholes... but they are full of people!

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gotta be a way to respect the ladies, respect the lgbtq++++, educate anyone who wants it, tolerate other people gods, and still produce enough people so you don't japanify yourself.

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aardvarkbjones t1_jbnx257 wrote

Look, people don't want to talk about this, but across the board, when education and opportunity go up for women, birth rates go down.

It turns out having and raising kids is really hard. Pregnancy takes a huge toll and children offer offer little personal benefit in economically advanced societies. When given other options, a lot of women just won't want to do it. Or if they do have kids, it'll be fewer.

I say this as a women who has never wanted kids. Pregnancy looks like something out of a nightmare to me.

We need to have an economic model that allows for fewer children moving forward.

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business2690 t1_jbo62al wrote

"fewer children moving forward" ........ strongly disagree.

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but you have every right to your opinion.

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also I am a man and yeah..... pregnancy looks like 0 fun.

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everytime I have gotten a woman pregnant I think.... sucks to be a chick.

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[deleted] t1_jbo6mcz wrote

[deleted]

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business2690 t1_jbqc3l5 wrote

..... everytime I have gotten a woman pregnant .....

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what about that is offensive?

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[deleted] t1_jbu8hxs wrote

[deleted]

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business2690 t1_jbuak7c wrote

not casually friendo.

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not casually.

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reword it as fits your sensibilities ; the point remains.

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not fun to squeeze a watermelon out of a vagina. not to mention 9 months of unrestrained fattening.

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Nope Nope Nope. i'll stick to paying for the whelps and other daddy duties. way better.

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CompactOwl t1_jbnrjb5 wrote

I think the main problem is that for men, historically, being the one raising kids is looked down upon. This still lingers. And for women, being the one staying at home is now looked down upon. Just see how some people are frowned upon for traditional roles. We just need to be okay with anyone doing his life, no matter if a man wants to stay at home raising kids, a women wanted a strong career path or a woman wanting to stay home and let the men earn the money. All those three things are not equally accepted in society. But they should be.

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business2690 t1_jbo5s5k wrote

agree.

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but the finances of a single income situation are FARRRRR different from dual income.

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how do you account for that?

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CompactOwl t1_jbo9i3a wrote

In what way? I am not sure I understand what you are asking.

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business2690 t1_jbqcb68 wrote

the women picking a traditional role are at an economic disadvantage to the ladies working 9 to 5 with no kids.

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CompactOwl t1_jbqd4ev wrote

Yes. That is true.

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business2690 t1_jbqygpi wrote

how do we fix that?

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Should an educated women choose to put herself at an economic disadvantage???

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answer: No.... thus lower birth rate.

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this is the core issue that must be fixed

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