Aliens meeting humans for the first time:

Yo, we scanned your planet and your place is full of microplastics, that shit is not good, people”

Earthling ambassador: no it’s allright, as soon as we can make It profitable, we’ll start making the worms spit on it.

Aliens: … aight… we gotta, uh, ”fake ring sound obviously made by alien” oh shit hi grandma! Oh grandpa is sick? In the hospital? I’ll be right there!

Sorry dude we’ll come by another day to visit you, good luck with the worms and stuff!

(Muffled whispers) get the fuck outta here man they are insane. Yes, just like the gorbians over in the andromeda galaxy. I’ll put it all in the report now fucking step on it yo.