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freeshavocadew t1_j4mleio wrote

Deaf, autistic, and a woman? It's a miracle she's alive. The only thing easier for a kidnapper would be a blind kid with 1 leg easily distracted by candy.

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freeshavocadew t1_j4mnwdh wrote

A drunk guy is easier to rob because he's drunk. A deaf woman is easier to catch and assault because she can't hear your flip flops slapping the pavement as you run up. Children are small, easily portable by comparison to an adult. Autistic people are easily tricked with just words. Men are usually larger than women, and there are scumbag motherfuckers that would absolutely abduct this poor deaf and autistic lady. Thankfully, not a lot of those guys around.

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FiendishHawk t1_j4mq0fm wrote

I guess everyone just assumed she was homeless and everyone tries not to notice homeless people acting “off”. Just shows you how leaving the homeless to their fate is utterly cruel.

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betillsatan t1_j4n15sr wrote

The deaf part I get but based on the autists I know, them being autistic doesn't always make them "easily tricked with just words."

It also sounded to me like you added woman as another handicap so I thought you might be joking.

Anyway, moving on. Have a good day!

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freeshavocadew t1_j4n2f80 wrote

The circle of autistic people who would be tricked by words and the circle of autistic people that disappear for weeks on end is probably more overlapping than you want to admit. Like not every homeless man has both mental illness of some sort and/or an addiction, but there is significant overlap that shouldn't be ignored.

I think you may be looking for something to be offended about based on your comment about women, assuming the intent was my trying to group handicaps together? Being a woman isn't a handicap as far as I know. And it's not disrespectful or false to state men are usually larger than women and there are predatory men out there that would and have assaulted handicapped people and perfectly able-bodied women. This particular woman has 2 listed handicaps being deaf and autistic. All 3 of those things make her particularly vulnerable to pieces of shit.

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betillsatan t1_j4n78l5 wrote

Lmao no man I am not offended or looking to police your language – I literally just read your comments too quickly and thought that maybe you were being sarcastic, and if so, that would've been funny to me. Whatever your actual message is doesn't seem problematic to me.

Good night.

Edit: I'm too tired and adhd to thoroughly read your long comment, I'm sorry if that makes for a bad convo; sort of why I'm trying to end it.

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Callmedrexl t1_j4njou4 wrote

Not being able to read people well can translate into not being able to tell when people are lying, sometimes to the point of being outright gullible. It's all individual in severity or life impact, but it is an autism thing. I don't think I like the description of "easily tricked by words", but getting a better grasp on when to be skeptical of people was something I struggled with for sure.

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fuzzmountain t1_j4nsm70 wrote

Kind of a broad statement. Autism is a spectrum. So is deafness. I’m deaf and probably more aware of my surroundings than most. When you know you can’t hear you deal with it. I guess there’s always the chance the kidnappers find out she’s deaf and use it to their advantage but most people probably don’t even realize she’s deaf unless they are repeatedly trying to talk to her with no response.

Now I’m just imagining kidnappers going around walking up behind people and saying “hey can you hear me?” before they attack lol

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freeshavocadew t1_j4nx8jd wrote

I hear you. Is it normal for deaf people to wander around, missing for 3 weeks? Autistic people? No, you say? Very interesting, it's as if my comment was very specific combining all 3 of those traits into 1 person! As if I was verbally pointing to her and only her being mute with a history of going missing. As if all 3 of those things mentions don't make this particular and specific EXTREMELY vulnerable.

Funny how language works, huh? It can be generalized, like men are almost always larger and more physically aggressive than women, or specific, like Helen Keller may have been brilliant but she as vulnerable and easy to defeat as a toddler. Not that I'm in the habit of kicking toddlers, I'm just saying if I was inclined to, we're having a 20 month old abortion.

You, on the other hand, just being deaf means you're missing an important sense, one that the rest of us rely upon and all of us take for granted a lot. You have a disability. You don't hear car horns, the racking of a shotgun, and losing your phone could be a whole-ass adventure, you Nyle DiMarco MF. Your disability is less obvious than some others, sure, and as far as disabilities go, it's a relatively straight-forward one to live with. It's 2023 now, texting has replaced calling others and we have close captioning on Netflix. You know what it's like being deaf as you live it 24/7/365 and you can see when other people A) are frustrated with you (doing the equivalent of trying to fist bump Stevie Wonder by yelling at your deaf ass) then B) shocked that you weren't just ignoring them, you're actually deaf.

Edit: there appears to be some misunderstanding here. First two paragraphs were sarcastic argument for why this particular woman is one of the most vulnerable people in our society. It was written sarcastically as a response but not maliciously.

The third paragraph was also not written maliciously but detailed how being deaf is also a disability of a different kind. I guess what's upsetting you sensitive people is using the word disability and disabled? That word is accurate, so I don't understand the problem with it. I didn't do anything wrong.

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fuzzmountain t1_j4o0cxn wrote

Wow…. Ummm. I don’t really see a need to reply to most of this….lol but I just wanted to say that car horns are loud and a good amount of deaf people would actually hear it if they were close enough. Wouldn’t sound the same as it sounds to someone who isn’t deaf but might be audible to a certain extent.

Also, I get what you’re saying about the phone thing but it’s really not as life breaking as you’re assuming lol. Like what do you do when you lose your phone? You ask someone to call it right? If no one is around then are you having a “whole ass adventure?” So really there’s no difference between a deaf person losing their phone and someone with normal hearing losing their phone except that when I lose my phone and have someone call it, I also ask them to listen for it. It’s not that crazy. If no one is there I look for it just like you do. Hope that helps your curiosity or whatever you got goin over there.

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freeshavocadew t1_j4o1cu7 wrote

You read this, jokes and all, and what, you think I was yelling or something? It's not extra to call a deaf person deaf and point out some things I imagine are true. Whatever though.

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fuzzmountain t1_j4o73rc wrote

Dude even I thought some of it was funny but yea you sound nuts lol. I don’t wanna change you or anything but if you ever find yourself saying, “you have a disability,” to someone that has a disability its just not going to look good from the outside.

Like first off, thanks dick(jk I love you) but I know that already. Then you just go on to have your own interpretation of what being deaf is and it’s just comically dumb. Funny. But dumb.

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byscuit t1_j4oc0nr wrote

Oof good point. I try to say hello to most of the coherent homeless people and hand out my spare change if they seem friendly. Now I wonder if I would've thought she was a crazy one...

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[deleted] t1_j4om8pg wrote

I wonder what was in the safe

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TolMera t1_j4pkxjs wrote

I can never get behind either of these systems, direct aid or indirect aid. One way it gets spent by the homeless person on good or bad things. The other it’s divided up into salaries and “help” for the homeless that most of the time is pointless drivel to them.

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freeshavocadew t1_j4pmtym wrote

Reddit means little to me. I wrote 2 paragraphs being sarcastic and detailed about how it makes sense to describe the deaf, autistic, mute woman in the article with a history of disappearing was specifically vulnerable when that deaf person tried to argue. I won that.

Reddit didn't like my using the word disabled and specifically using it freely. That's silly. Deaf people are disabled, same as blind people. They require accommodations the rest of us don't. Being deaf may be a "spectrum" in the sense that they can hear a very deep tone or extremely loud nearby sharp noise but can't hear conversation or whatever. I detailed 2 dangerous things (that makes them more vulnerable) and then threw in the practical thing about how different it must be for a deaf person to lose a phone if you can't hear ringing or vibrations. I even referred to a famous deaf model!

0

SuraKatana t1_j4pnn5s wrote

Deaf AND autism, holy moly that must be really hard :|

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freeshavocadew t1_j4poqun wrote

I am just fine, thanks.

If you reread that paragraph that a couple of people are describing as crazed and unhinged for some reason instead as sarcastically and argumentative that this particular woman from this story is, by nature of what she's dealing with disability-wise, one of the most vulnerable people in our society after that deaf person tried to argue being deaf was just on a spectrum it might seem less unhinged. It was also written to have a few references and jokes thrown in like the DiMarco guy being a famous deaf model and advocate and honking of horns seemingly falling on deaf ears wandering around QUEENS, NYC. A lot of people that can hear perfectly fine but are distracted get hit by cars. Am I supposed to believe that she's exceptional and the sense of hearing doesn't matter for that?

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CommonConfusables t1_j4pznqq wrote

You could have stopped at “it’s a miracle she’s alive.”

When you added something “easier” to abduct it became a really insulting statement towards autistic women who are deaf, and even those of use who are not deaf.

My autism makes it so I don’t trust anyone and I have memorized ways to protect myself and what I would do in various scenarios. I have helped a lot of people out of dangerous positions, and even rescued a kid getting beat up by a group of larger boys that no one else would interrupt going by.

My autism makes me that person who saves the day.

Autism is a spectrum…not a label to describe someone as less than. Yes, having a disability of any kind can make you more of a target by assholes looking to do harm, but that doesn’t mean a woman with autism wouldn’t fuck up an attacker.

0

Complete_Hyena_6934 t1_j4q6p43 wrote

You mean to tell me a nobody help this poor girl like what the hell people just walked by her looking like that I mean I’m guessing she look like probably every other homeless person, but Jesus Christ. If you can tell somethings kind of wrong with them come on people are so fucked up where is the kind of sadness world so very few of us left.

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eighteencarps t1_j4qfh1o wrote

Both deaf and autistic communities reject narratives about either being difficult (or, at least, unwanted). Speaking from an autistic person who’s spent a bit of time in Deaf communities as well :]

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TolMera t1_j4qkrz0 wrote

That’s not what I do, I’m always willing to buy a meal or give food, clothing, water or other needed items. Speaking as someone who spent a few years homeless, the monetary system of support is broken, but food banks, stocking shelters and generally giving a hand up to people who are down and out works.

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eighteencarps t1_j4ql6ux wrote

I should clarify: I don't think living in society as an autistic person is easy by any means. Nor is being autistic necessarily 'easy' by itself (my wording here wasn't very good). I can't personally speak to deaf experiences, but I misspoke in implying that it's 'easy.'

I think I was more reacting to the vibe in the comments section a la "being autistic (or deaf) sucks" or is bad, a disease, etc. Your mileage may vary, but many autistic people have incorporated disability activism viewpoints into our understanding of our experiences, and that's a viewpoint I've found personally helpful. It's a complex set of theories, but a lot of it boils down to something like:

>Disabilities aren't easy and can have impacts on our abilities to interact with the world. However, much of our struggles come from a world that isn't built for us, not from an inherent problem with being disabled.

(Important note that many deaf people do not consider deafness a disability, but, to my understanding, they have also used these frameworks to a great degree.)

This is called the social model of disability. It's often mistaken (or mistakenly used) to imply that there is no physical or mental 'difference' because of disabilities, which I don't think it does say. God knows that, without autism, I wouldn't have the severe eating disorder that severely limits my diet (and I certainly hate sensory overload, lol).

At the same time, many of this could be best understood as problems that might be best approached by changing the environment or giving me the tools I need to approach it. Places can include sensory-friendly rooms, autistic people can be given access to sensory tools, etc. Same goes for the "social problems" autistic people have, which more often than not result from differences in autistic and non-autistic communication, not inherent 'flaws' in autistic communication.

Again, I'm not an expert on deaf people (or deaf myself), but from my education around deaf spaces, many people feel that the majority of the problems they experience are from inaccessible spaces, not some sort of 'problem' with being deaf. Greater access to sign languages, captions, and interpreters would do a lot, but unfortunately many deaf people have instead had their languages forcefully stripped from them under threats of physical harm (or, more recently, social control methods). There's a long and fascinating history of deaf people's cultures and communities that is worth looking into and has also inspired autistic activism.

I'm not good at being concise with my words, lol, but I hope this makes sense. I'm sorry if I came off as dismissive. I think I was genuinely a little tense at some of the comments in this comments section being overly pitying or assuming that to be autistic or deaf (or, gasp, both!) is the worst fate imaginable, and yours was the one I happened to sort of feel the need to comment on, but I don't think you're really wrong. The world makes shit hard for us.

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cry_w t1_j4r2si0 wrote

As someone with autism, it is pretty apt. I used to get tricked by my brother all of the time simply because he sounded honest to me when he would say some outlandish nonsense. He always told me the truth when he saw that I actually believed it though, so it was just funny.

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Callmedrexl t1_j4r4cvq wrote

And as a person with autism I could argue that you were tricked by your brother utilizing his trusted status. The words themselves weren't enough to trick you, but coming from your brother they were. Unless you would have believed the same outlandish nonsense regardless of source the issue wasn't with the words.

But we're fussing over semantics here. I don't care for the phrase "easily tricked by words" and don't identify with that experience. But I don't care if you think you do. Carry on!

1

CompetitionNo1227 t1_j4rhagf wrote

My mom works with the homeless and when I see an actual homeless person, I give them the business’ contact info. They have food, clothes, haircuts, showers, etc.

I’m from Arkansas where panhandling is legal, so unfortunately you have to get good at identifying the actually homeless from the people sitting on a yeti cooler at the interstate exit with Yeezys on.

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