Sweat pooled around my neck, trapped by my shirt collar as I loosened it for what felt like the 100th time this hour. It was hard to not freak out after everything that's happened, but I was determined not to. For my planet at least. If told me 24 hours ago an intergalactic empire was attempting take over my planet, I would've probably believed you since I was going mad from isolation. Not good being the last of your kind, but I digress. Turns out, some alien race called... something that sounded like ticks and chirps, but was stopped by the best and worst thing to ever be created.

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The lines of bureaucracy.

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You can't buy a planet if another sentient race is on it, and unwilling to sell. Kind of like how you can't buy a house with someone living in it. However, crooked lawyers have transcended humans, and these creatures are pulling some loophole to swing the jury in their favour.

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So. here I was. Sweating up a storm holding unintelligible documents that stated my case.

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"Could Human #2937987189678936871 Please enter court room 17. Your case is in session."

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Turns out they also numbered us for some reason, can't complain. More work on their behalf. I'm currently writing this in pure English, something these aliens can't understand, so if you can read this, wish me luck. Or not. Either I've doomed Earth, or saved it.

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I've got a case to win.