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Carrieka23 t1_iw066jx wrote

The Sky

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Have you ever made a wish to the sky? That your selfless or maybe selfish wish will come true?

I've done it for many years. Each time, that wish becomes true.

The first wish I made was for my mother. My father thought it was nice to cheat on her with another female he met at a bar. He decided to tell me, thinking I wouldn't say anything since we close.

I was afraid, so I stare at the shining night sky, and pray. Pray that my mother finds out, and she will become happy.

The next day, she found out and they got a divorce. I stay with my mother, hoping it will heal her heart. But it didn't. The guilt and anger she felt from her husband cheating on her pains her heart. Even just looking at me pains her heart deep down.

So, I wish again at night. And my wish again came true. My mother suddenly healed from the pain.

That's when I begin to wonder, is the sky truly alive? Is the sky listening to every single one of our wishes?

The third time was around middle school. I notice a quiet person staring at the ground. A couple of bullies were mocking them, laughing at them, even going as far as making fun of their clothes. I felt pity for the victim. I wanted to help the victim, so I made a wish to the sky.

The next day, the bullies have a change of heart. They begin supporting them, even one of them going as far as having a crush on them. It's weird in my eyes, but I'm glad the bullying stop.

But most of all, I realize the sky is indeed alive, and it's listening to every single wish that I made. So, I begin wishing for good around the world. One by one, the world slowly begins to change for the better.

People begin accepting each other, the environment is becoming a livelier place, everything was just perfect.

Just like any other human, I begin aging. But I still continue to wish to the shining bright sky. But one day, I became so sick that I start visiting the hospital. I was so worried about other people's problems, that I forgot my own problem.

One visit became two, two became four, and four became forever. But still, I continue making wishes to the sky. Even going as far as wishing for this hospital to get better support and money from people.

Tonight, the sky was shining as always, but it was now different. The sky was calling for me, wanting me to come along with them.

So, I accepted with ease.

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WPC: 451

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London-Roma-1980 t1_iwhaht5 wrote

I really like the tone of this story. It nails wholesome well, and includes a little supernatural in it. The idea of the person being selfless even on death's door is a stock character, but one so lacking in the real world the presence here is welcome.

I do notice that you flip-flop from past to present tense a bit in this story, which a copyeditor would be infuriated by but which I can work my way around. There is, however, one omission:

>He decided to tell me, thinking I wouldn't say anything since we close.

The right phrasing here is "since we _were_ close" or "since we _are_ close". Close, in this sentence, is an adjective not a verb, meaning the subordinate clause is missing the verb it needs to finish the thought. Never accidentally a verb, as Murphy's Law would say.

Still, a good take on the topic! I like it!

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