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London-Roma-1980 t1_iwhaht5 wrote

I really like the tone of this story. It nails wholesome well, and includes a little supernatural in it. The idea of the person being selfless even on death's door is a stock character, but one so lacking in the real world the presence here is welcome.

I do notice that you flip-flop from past to present tense a bit in this story, which a copyeditor would be infuriated by but which I can work my way around. There is, however, one omission:

>He decided to tell me, thinking I wouldn't say anything since we close.

The right phrasing here is "since we _were_ close" or "since we _are_ close". Close, in this sentence, is an adjective not a verb, meaning the subordinate clause is missing the verb it needs to finish the thought. Never accidentally a verb, as Murphy's Law would say.

Still, a good take on the topic! I like it!

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