I had almost forgotten the sensation, like slipping between two immense silken couch cushions out of one environment and into another. The little wooden porch fronting my little wooden cabin had been warmed by the rising sun. Now, I stood barefoot on cold marble in a drafty, cavernous hall. Before me were two men I didn't recognize at first. One stood tall and gloating. The other, pressed up against a pillar as tall and thick as a spruce tree, was on his ass, panicked eyes fixed to mine, a rapier at his throat. But that look, those eyes. I knew him.

"Your pistols," the disadvantaged one rasped at me, "Where the hell are they?"

"Still hung up over my fireplace, as they've been some twenty odd years," I said slowly. I recognized the situation for the tinderbox that it was, and instinctively knew not to add any friction it didn't need. I sipped my tea, still warm. At last there could be no mistake: I knew that boy.

"What trick is this?" said the gloating one.

"You just hush now," I said, and returned my attention to my old friend. "Max, my boy. You finally got the whiskers you always wanted. Some of them at least."

Max touched the paltry beard on his chin, and I chuckled. The other one, a fancy sort, now that I'd had a minute to size him up, let his blade droop just a bit but didn't sheathe it.

"Of course I'm tickled that you'd still think of me after all these years, but why oh why did you have to call me during my morning routine?"

"Well I'm in quite the... the pickle, as you can see..."

Fancy boy flicked his blade at Max's face. "I'll do the talking here," he said. I threw my teacup, smashing it against his brow.

"Where I come from, 'hush' means one thing. I don't know what it means to you."

"You devil!" he cried, bleeding.

"I'm still holding the saucer. Put that toothpick away."

He did, and slunk away in a huff.

"Max, what did you do?"

"I... tried to do it without you. I thought I had it figured out. I did really well! I got a job in the service, I read the stoics, and I made a life. I thought I was done."

"But?"

"But, they kept coming for me. One asshole or another, there was always someone trying to tear down what I'd built. I was only defending myself."

"And that guy is trying to kill you because of it?"

"Well, I also might've involved myself with his wife."

"Ah," I said.

"Believe me, I can deal with that on my own. It's messy, but it's actually relatively straightforward from my perspective. I was just hoping you could prevent me from getting my head chopped off. On that account, I feel we're square."

"I was just about to cook some eggs. You hungry?" I said.

"No, actually I think I need to puke."

"Fair in the eyes of God."

And then, the gloating one regained his courage. "I feel like I've humored this long enough."

By then, I felt the silk cushions of eternity calling my back. "Is there anything else you'd like me to do?"

"Kill this asshole."

"Like I said, I left my guns at home."

"Then whatever." Max shrugged.

​

fin