As with a lot of things: it depends. This definitely happens, but sometimes people really do miss the point about what makes something special. Call Me By Your Name is special because it’s a romance between two men where the story still somehow isn’t about that. I had someone dismiss the story (the film, but that doesn’t really matter) because “if it were a man and a woman, no one would bat an eye at this movie.” Sure, maybe, but that’s completely missing why people responded to this particular story. So in this example, the criticism really does come from just not understanding it, which may very well stem from the critic in this case being a straight man.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t valid criticisms that can be directed at CMBYN.