I get that complaint totally. I think the broader point is that Eleanor’s striping of identity at the hands of her mother has left her vulnerable to the house. In much the same way that people from abusive households often find themselves in abusive relationships as adults. I would actually argue that Eleanor’s journey to Hill House resembles a walk down the aisle. Its not making her mad it’s preying on the madness that’s already there simply by making her feel wanted. “Journeys end in lovers meeting”