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Sandi_T t1_j639sd4 wrote

Too many people in modern society forget that fantasy isn't real life. I don't really know anything about her, but I understand certain things about the "romance" genre.

Many people get really angry about elements of fictional romances that are for a certain market.

Let's take the "enemies to lovers" trope, since I'm getting that vibe from some comments. I'm not a fan, myself, but there's another related niche I like and I've gone out of my way to try to understand (why people like this sort of thing).

Some people like to read these kinds of fantasies because reading is a safe place to explore things you'd never do IRL.

A person who has had to end a relationship due to red flags, but they really loved that person and wish they had changed, can explore that safely through reading. Imagination is a safe space.

Even very dark fantasies can be safely indulged in (50 Shades ring any bells?) without getting any actual pain or risking running afoul of a true sadist instead of merely a redeemable scoundrel.

These books allow people to have a fantasy in a safe way.

But unfortunately, there are a lot of controlling, thought-policing people who can't separate fact from fiction. They believe that by creating a safe place to enjoy fantasies you'd never risk IRL, you are condoning the behaviors in the story.

That's simply not true.

Everyone but these thought police know...it's fantasy. Their excuse is that no fantasy should exist because what if someone follows through!?!?

In reality, people are more likely to follow through in risky ways if they can't indulge their imagination. They are more likely to follow through in extremely risky ways if they feel ashamed and demonized. The shame itself will drive them towards subconscious self harm.

It's better to give people space to explore it safely and to feel okay about themselves. It's just thoughts, not acted on. It's harmless to self and others when it's just a book.

Most people would enjoy being pursued by someone who loves and dotes on them, for example... But we know IRL such aggressive pursuit is typically abusive. So in person it turns us off. Not to mention it's usually someone we aren't at all attracted to, either.

Books, especially romances, allow us to let go of our reasonable concerns about stalking (for example) and indulge in a sense of being intensely pursued by a person we actually would love being pursued by.

Enemies to lovers allows a person to give in to a "forbidden" but overwhelming desire. Many of us have been deeply, intensely attracted to someone only to find out they're a jerk. In imagination, they are redeemable and come around in the end. IRL, you dare not take that chance.

Fiction is freedom. You can do in fiction what you never would IRL.

Some people want to take that away under "but it's normalizing abusive behavior!"

No, it isn't. It's giving people space to imagine before going back to the harsh reality that being pursued aggressively is only fun in fantasy, but is mostly dangerous and terrifying in reality.

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shindow t1_j65m0ye wrote

This sums up everything I would have said. Dont police her tropes, police her plot and structure. Bad writing isn't a squick its overused and predictable writing.

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