I got on the T this morning with a breakfast sandwich and coffee from Caffe Nero. As soon as I sat down, this guy took the seat across from me and started asking me all kinds of questions. Where did I get the coffee from? Where is the store? What did I order? Was it expensive? How much exactly? How did I get there? Did I like it better than Dunkin’s or Starbucks?
I was only going a few stops so I wasn’t too perturbed by it, but I was getting a little uncomfortable, especially since a few of his questions were about where I was coming from and where I was going (I didn’t answer those). After a minute or two of this, a woman who had been sitting further down in the car moved over and sat next to me and said hello. She asked how I was doing. The guy started peppering her with questions too. She was friendly and answered him and engaged me in conversation as well. It took a lot of the pressure off and I felt much more comfortable.
She asked where I was getting off and it turned out I was leaving one stop before her. I offered to get off at her stop instead, but she insisted she was fine. By the time I got off, it seemed like the guy had lost interest in us anyway and was playing on his phone. I thanked her and she wished me a safe trip home.
In retrospect, I’m pretty sure the guy was just not neurotypical and had no idea he was doing something that could be perceived as harassing or threatening. But I still so greatly appreciated that this other woman was paying attention and making sure I felt safe.
To anyone who looks out for people in uncomfortable situations in public, it is so appreciated, even when there doesn’t turn out to be any real danger.
Late edit but I just got home: In case some people are wondering why this felt even remotely scary or uncomfortable, let me stress that he was asking questions about where we lived, where we worked (even as specific as what specific company and what floor), what time we got to work, how we got around, etc. All things that if we’d been naive enough to answer fully might have given him enough information to seek us out again. Part of what made me realize he wasn’t dangerous was that he seemed unfazed when we brushed off these questions - it didn’t stop him from asking more, but he didn’t get upset or try and guilt us into telling him, which is the classic harasser move. I think he just couldn’t read the social cues to understand why those questions weren’t appropriate to ask a total stranger.
He was also asking questions incessantly, not in a typical conversational way, just rapidfire one after another, barely waiting for an answer.
(Adding this not because I feel the need to justify the way it mad me feel, but because I think it’s important for people to understand exactly what can make an otherwise harmless interaction feel uncomfortable, so they can avoid putting someone in that situation or help out a stranger who’s in it.)