Since you asked for help, some ideas:

• I suggest you talk to a tax professional to see if they can reduce your taxes or, at least, funnel some of that money elsewhere rather than taxes.
• odd question: how are you contributing to a Roth IRA when the highest income limits is $228k for this year
• I'm assuming that you have a good mortgage since you can't really refinance right now. Still, $98.5k/year mortgage seems pretty high. Is that a $2m mortgage? That can't be right or, at least, you definitely can't consider yourself even upper middle class even in CA.
• you have to consider that renovations/furniture is a one-time cost. You won't have the $43k/year in expenses, right?
• $4k/year for Internet and cable? I know it's not a lot of money compared to other expenses but try cutting the cord and just having high speed internet? $333/mo seems obscene even for CA.
• note that you're spending quite a bit on restaurants vs. buying actual groceries. Since you're spending ~$165/week on average, try not going for an entire week. Or if you're going out every other week then that's $327. That's some expensive wine. If you stop doing this once a month then you'll save $2k/year just on that.
• what's the difference between Internet/cable vs. entertainment which is almost another $300/mo. You're paying over $600 on these. Are you getting $21 worth of fun every single day? Maybe cut something there.
• how much money is left on the family loan repay?
• you could contribute more to the 529 plan. Based on your family's level, I think you'll have those higher needs.
• what's the $11.5k household? That's almost $1k/mo - what's that for?
• am I assuming that you moved $40k to a brokerage plus saved $33.5k in cash? Why not:
• move some more cash to the 529 plan
• repay that family loan so it's not hanging over your heads
• think about getting a better car where you're not wasting $2.5k/year on maintenance
• move more money to the brokerage to get a higher investment return
• also you're contributing only $31k to a 401k?
• once again, max contribution limits apply here and you might be filing taxes separately. That still doesn't explain the Roth where you hit limits. Again I'd check with a tax advisor or maybe get a different opinion.
• I'd definitely contribute more to the 401k

Basically you have the following general problems of which you're already aware:

• your tax situation isn't optimal and could be better both from how much taxes you're paying and how little you're contributing to retirement and educational funds
• your spending is a bit much, even for California. You can do better, especially when it comes to entertainment: both restaurants and entertainment
• considering how much income you're getting and the size/interest on that family loan, I'd pay that off
• halt the bleed of the stupid expenses like upgrading to a more reliable car where you don't have maintenance costs (perhaps even a lease would be cheaper).