This isn't even the cringiest thing I've ever seen from a church. I mean, have you listened to any praise and worship music lyrics? Or Christian rock for that matter? So many songs with the "Jesus is my boyfriend" theme. Yikes!

davethompson413 t1_jebt9m0 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 9:34 PM

#2,501,883

I've heard that there are some priests willing to prove that they are sufficient substitutes

Kenny_Squeek_Scolari t1_jebuv9z wrote on March 30, 2023 at 9:44 PM

#2,502,274

He can turn water into wine and me into swiss cheese

Kenny_Squeek_Scolari t1_jebv0mj wrote on March 30, 2023 at 9:45 PM

#2,502,306

I prayed for the second coming of Christ but not like this... not like this

sagitta_luminus t1_jebwhhk wrote on March 30, 2023 at 9:55 PM

#2,502,664

🎶I wanna get down on my knees

And start pleasin’ Jesus

I wanna feel his salvation

All over my face🎶

stalphonzo t1_jebwws6 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 9:58 PM

#2,502,762

Please tell me he uses a condom. I don't need to be that famous.

capt-yossarius t1_jebxd01 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:01 PM

#2,502,877

No means No, Jesus!

cokendsmile t1_jebxj6h wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:02 PM

#2,502,909

‘Jesus is in me’, has a completely new meaning now

Whoknows4820017 t1_jebzmov wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:17 PM

#2,503,359

Sounds like what an average catholic priest would say

UpAndAdam7414 t1_jec0277 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:19 PM

#2,503,460

Replying to sagitta_luminus (#2,502,664)

I thought of Cartman too.

SNEV3NS t1_jec0n2c wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:24 PM

#2,503,596

Well, they are the bride of Christ....

jordantask t1_jec1tn2 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:32 PM

#2,503,860

https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk

Psycho-FangSenpai t1_jec1wut wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:32 PM

#2,503,879

Jesus better cut his hair and stack on 100 pounds of muscle before I let that happen

Stormystorms t1_jec2nmr wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:38 PM

#2,504,062

What are you doing, step Jesus?

Majestic-Enthusiasm t1_jec2z2d wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:40 PM

#2,504,150

If you go to Mexico I bet you can find Jesus

[deleted] t1_jec4as1 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:49 PM

#2,504,469

[removed]

acuet t1_jec4uwo wrote on March 30, 2023 at 10:53 PM

#2,504,599

I want his holly spirit all over my face and body!

Fleadip t1_jec71rt wrote on March 30, 2023 at 11:09 PM

#2,505,115

Replying to sagitta_luminus (#2,502,664)

Faith+1

This episode is so damn funny🤣

DEADLocked90000 t1_jec8s6h wrote on March 30, 2023 at 11:21 PM

#2,505,576

Replying to Kenny_Squeek_Scolari (#2,502,306)

Is this better or worse in your opinion?

Bamma4 t1_jec9n1y wrote on March 30, 2023 at 11:28 PM

#2,505,774

Replying to sagitta_luminus (#2,502,664)

🎶body of Christ🎶

KeyBanger t1_jecbwn9 wrote on March 30, 2023 at 11:44 PM

#2,506,325

The Holy Threesome

pegleg57 t1_jecc7ye wrote on March 30, 2023 at 11:46 PM

#2,506,411

.....And then he comes.........

Ididntbreakanyrules t1_jecdgcq wrote on March 30, 2023 at 11:55 PM

#2,506,731

Fair trade considering where I'm heading otherwise if he exists.

OkImpress3543 t1_jece56x wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:00 AM

#2,506,912

Jesus will have to pay the troll toll

Petal_Chatoyance t1_jecfmcz wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:11 AM

#2,507,314

Bring out some Holy Lube and I'll consider it.

Vaibhav_Rajpurohit27 t1_jechcry wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:24 AM

#2,507,784

the fuck i don't want to go to heaven now for sure😂

Chairman_of_the_Pool t1_jecivfr wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:35 AM

#2,508,161

They knew what they were doing here

fixerdrew02 t1_jeckhs7 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:47 AM

#2,508,607

Christianity is full of sexual innuendoes

fixerdrew02 t1_jeckj64 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:48 AM

#2,508,615

Replying to yell_worldstar (#2,499,000)

Have to be 13 or less tho

100percentish t1_jeclcq0 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:54 AM

#2,508,839

Sounds kinda woke groomer.

Sofarbeyondfucked t1_jeclgvv wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:55 AM

#2,508,870

Jesus is coming!

LinearFluid t1_jecozrh wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:22 AM

#2,509,910

Jesus is the name of the Church Preacher.

Berns429 t1_jecqr2b wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:35 AM

#2,510,403

Replying to Downtown_Tadpole_817 (#2,500,783)

Don’t do it Jesus, red flags bro

jrockcrown t1_jecrntz wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:42 AM

#2,510,675

Feel the lords salivation upon your face and know he is upon thee

cleaver1015 t1_ject9lw wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:54 AM

#2,511,106

Me: "Why can't I enter heaven? "

St Pete: "Jesus needs to enter you."

Me: "I promise you, he entered me last night."

St Pete: "Not Jesus Romero, Jesus Christ."

Me: "You mean my ass is sore for nothing? "

Spock-1701 t1_jectmlx wrote on March 31, 2023 at 1:57 AM

#2,511,213

r/theyknew

SupremeEmperorNoms t1_jecusde wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:06 AM

#2,511,539

Let Jesus fill you with his grace. :P

Central_Control t1_jecy8ye wrote on March 31, 2023 at 2:34 AM

#2,512,505

Replying to yell_worldstar (#2,499,000)

Of course they do. They know exactly what they're putting on that sign. How fucking stupid do you think that they'd have to be not to get that joke? It's an extremely simple joke. Simple enough for children to understand.

Because priests prey on children. They always have. They always will. Nothing has changed.

bowtiesrcool86 t1_jed2fu9 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:09 AM

#2,513,705

Oh my…

practicalAnARcHiSt t1_jed7cny wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:53 AM

#2,514,986

Which hole/s?????????????

practicalAnARcHiSt t1_jed7etl wrote on March 31, 2023 at 3:54 AM

#2,515,001

Replying to practicalAnARcHiSt (#2,514,986)

Trick question....... all of them!!!!!!!!

ArbutusPhD t1_jed8eoj wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:03 AM

#2,515,275

Replying to yell_worldstar (#2,499,000)

God f***s us all, in the end.

heatlesssun t1_jedcoox wrote on March 31, 2023 at 4:46 AM

#2,516,479

Phrasing.

[deleted] t1_jedg48p wrote on March 31, 2023 at 5:24 AM

#2,517,307

[removed]

NeonsStyle t1_jedovaw wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:15 AM

#2,519,377

That's why Jesus is Gay!

[deleted] t1_jedqjka wrote on March 31, 2023 at 7:39 AM

#2,519,737

[removed]

nokturnle t1_jee7d8l wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:26 AM

#2,523,732

sounds like hell

Mr_Nobody_MF t1_jee7iac wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:28 AM

#2,523,765

🙄

WingedBunny1 t1_jeeakq3 wrote on March 31, 2023 at 11:59 AM

#2,524,736

Religion is one of the worst human inventions.

Sure-Debate-464 t1_jeeghoa wrote on March 31, 2023 at 12:51 PM

#2,526,757

Never understood the concept of a god with such a fragile ego that if you don't kiss his ass and praise him for no reason you don't get to go to his special club after you die.