If you go to a local DTA (department of transitional assistance), they can help you with shelter (may be a wait list). They may also be able to assist you with getting your child some sort of subsidy or voucher for childcare. Where in Mass will you be?

You should also visit HAWC (DV support)- It sounds like you are homeless due to having left an abusive and unsafe situation which gives you priority status.

DTA have known about my situation (it’s a little more complex than what’s in the post) and don’t provide much help.

I won’t be anywhere specific in MA as I will have to find somewhere I can park without the police coming and telling me I can’t stay there.

You would think that but I don’t seem to get much help from the government at all

Please reach out to: https://www.new-hope.org/

DTA and DHCD can help. MEMA set up a transitional shelter to keep you out of the cold while you await placement.

Maybe Rosie's Place can help.
Libraries can be a great warm place to keep a little one safe and entertained.

You are allowed to sleep in Walmart parking lots

Depending on how long you had been staying with your ex, you may have tenancy rights and he would need to formally evict you. Not an attractive option, but better than being on the streets.

Someone will call DCF on you. get a social worker now.

Can you stay in the UK with your family? Seems like that's a better choice than living in your car with your child.

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Any employer-sponsored childcare options/assistance?

This

Berkshires has the elizabeth freeman center as well.

This is really good advice… if you approach them first they look at it differently than if someone reports you into the system. I can almost guarantee someone is going to wind up reporting you eventually. (ok so I’m being dire, but seriously it’s winter and you two need a roof not a car)

You want her to squat?

I second this. Europe is a much better place… is your family in UK your parents? I really don’t think they will turn their daughter and grandson away if so…

Squatting would be if you had no legal right to be there in the first place.

Which she doesn’t , cus I’m sure there’s no lease and she was just crashing there. She doesn’t get to squat because she made poor life decisions

Technically not true but also true at the same time. Its one of those things thats against the rules these days (used to not be) but also we work in them 24 hours a day most days a year so no one ever cares or can tell if people sleep in the lot unless they are in campers. Depending on the location the cops come through more or less frequently though and will sometimes be looking for people.

OP can pm me to ask location but our Walmart lot is safe to sleep in and I am located in MA. Im not sure but my area may also have more resources available to help women in need

This is a good option, but not a right that you are automatically allowed to park at a Walmart overnight. Most are ok with it, but some don’t allow it (locations in cities/high homelessness areas) ask a manager first.

Stay in the UK?

Living in a car with a 3yr old in the winter or staying with family in the UK?

It is not a real question

AFAIK, a verbal agreement and/or an extended stay is enough to make you a tenant-at-will, which would require a 30 day written notice to vacate.

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I am a British citizen, I wish I could stay, my family want me to. However, my sons abusive dad is refusing to let us. It’s either face living in my car and being homeless or potentially deal with kidnapping charges.

I will give them a call, thank you.

I will give them a call, thank you

I get this, it’s not like the government don’t know, I’ve been dealing with shelters and homelessness most of last year. Didn’t have DCF involved though.

No, I will not do this. We both have children, I will not deal with the fights which can be physical when it is not my home. I am not on the lease, I have no right to stay there.

I am a British citizen, I wish I could stay, my family want me to. However, my sons abusive dad is refusing to let us. It’s either face living in my car and being homeless or potentially deal with kidnapping charges.

Would need an employer for that. Had to quit my job last June due to my childcare closing, couldn’t find another daycare as they were all full.

Gabby Petito Foundation is a national assistance for domestic violence victims as well.

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Findhelp.org is a great resource for social assistance programs - housing, meals, childcare, cash assistance, etc.

BH Link in RI might have resources/recommendations Community Care Alliance in Woonsocket

I was in a similar situation of being homeless with a small child. Call dta or go to a dta center and they will help you figure out what you can sign up for in regards to assistance. Also depending on where you are in Massachusetts there is this amazing company called healthy families. They worked with me to help me get food stamps, helped me find job opportunities, apply for masshealth and apply for the benefit that helps pay for child care. They can also help you find shelter. They meet with you once a week ( they can come to you if you cant have transport to meet them) they will bring activities to do with the little one (my person I had rebekah would bring toys and paint and coloring pages) as well as sometimes they are able to help with clothing for the child and diapers and wipes (depending on what has been donated to them)

healthy families website

https://jeannegeigercrisiscenter.org

These people will help you. Locations in amesbury, Newburyport and Lawrence

I have family who work for the Elizabeth Freeman Center, please message me if you need any help getting in contact with them or any other orgs

https://elizabethfreemancenter.org/

louison House in the Berkshires (western ma) may be worth giving a call too. if they can’t help you directly they ought to know of some resources.

Would the law call it kidnapping in this case? Perhaps not given your circumstances. Even if it was kidnapping and you stay in UK permanently, I doubt the state of MA is gonna extradite you for it

You're better off staying in the UK than coming to Mass to spend the winter sleeping in your car with a child.

OP is a British citizen. The child is not

You have to ask the individual store and be very respectful of the space. (Lots in MA have stopped letting people stay due to issues with people being destructive etc.)

Two things,

First, Since you are a British citizen and I’m assuming by extension you son is as well, I would call the British Consulate in Boston and ask for consular assistance. If they don’t pick up the phone because it’s a weekend, leave a brief voicemail explaining your situation, and they will have someone get back to you I imagine. Their phone number is: +1 617 245 4500

The consulate can help provide you a list of resources, and advocate on your behalf to US/Mass government agencies.

Second, where were you last registered to vote/where did you last get mail?

Wherever that is, call your state representative or state Senator, lots them even have their personal cell phone numbers on their website. If not, send them an email letting them know about your situation. they have people specifically dedicated to helping people out with constituent services. They will help you reach out to state agencies, and advocate on your behalf. They have contacts at the various state agencies. If you need to find out who your state representative or state senator is, here is the link from the Massachusetts legislature: https://malegislature.gov/Search/FindMyLegislator

As stated in replies to other people saying the same thing…. I am a British citizen, I wish I could stay, my family want me to. However, my sons abusive dad is refusing to let us. It’s either face living in my car and being homeless or potentially deal with kidnapping charges.

Yea it would still class as kidnapping because it would be me refusing to bring his son back to him especially when we have notarized agreement.

Since your daughter is also a British citizen and you are concerned about her safety, it would be a good idea to reach out to the British government (foreign service) for help or the British consulate in Boston

https://www.gov.uk/world/organisations/british-consulate-general-boston

1-617-245-4500

Child is both a British and American citizen, I am a British Citizen with a green card

Thank you I will check out their website

Kidnapping charges? Doubtful. The obvious choice is to stay in the uk with your family, coming to mass and spending the winter sleeping in your car with a child is not a logical choice.

Not an option, I will not risk losing my son by breaking a notarized agreement with my child’s father which will put him in a place to keep threatening me or even act on getting full custody of my son

That agreement may be unenforceable. Rather than coming back and being homeless, you may want to talk to a lawyer.

ETA: I'm starting to wonder if this is a creative writing exercise, given that OP hasn't responded to anyone pointing out that the "notarized agreement" is unenforceable and that kidnapping charges are highly unlikely if not impossible, while child endangerment charges and loss of custody are far more likely.

There’s a women’s shelter in Peabody ma on Washington st. I forget the name but it is geared towards you situation. I lived across the street a while back and it was all women that escaped abuse with children. Citizens For Adequate Housing, Inc. Peabody is the nsme

As the other guy said, if kidnapping charges are you're biggest concern, talk to a lawyer. You're right to a safety and shelter should supersede the abusive father's right to your child. There shouldn't be any reason to return to the states when you have family in UK willing to take you in.

There won’t be kidnapping charges unless your son’s dad has full custody and a court order. He’s put this fear in your head, but it’s not true. Talk to a lawyer.

Look at this page to find out how to apply for emergency housing from DHCD: https://www.masslegalhelp.org/income-benefits/emergency-assistance-shelter/apply

Reach out to their hotline: 866-584-0653.

Here a mass.gov with more information on this program: https://www.mass.gov/emergency-housing-assistance-programs

It’s a program specifically meant for very low income, pregnant women or those with children that are escaping situation, such as yours, like domestic violence, or sleeping in a car.

If your son’s dad doesn’t have full custody, then the cops won’t bring kidnapping charges for your son staying with you.

Additionally, bringing your son to Massachusetts and having him stay in your car in winter is so stupid and dangerous that your ex could use that to argue in court for full custody of your son. You really need to talk to a lawyer, or you’re going to end up both homeless and sonless.

Hey OP, you might want to consider talking to Greater Boston Legal Services’ Relocation Project about the situation. They may be able to give you some advice about how to move towards permanently relocating back to the UK.

Speak to a lawyer about this rather than making assumptions (if you haven’t already). Agreements are only enforceable if a judge agrees. Family courts are (supposed to be) about the safety and best interests of the child.

Where is the child’s father? Does he have housing in Mass? Did a family lawyer look at your notarized statement? That doesnt sound like a legally binding document to me? Who advised you with that? That person can give you your best next move.

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Your ignorance of people's legal rights doesn't mean they don't exist.

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Try these folks. My sister was in an abusive relationship and fled. They helped her a lot just giving a place to stay for a bit. They’re often full but will work with you as much as possible.

https://www.newhorizonsdv.com

Your a mom in Massachusetts. Unless your an abusive drug addict piece of shit (I am not at all saying that you are, to be clear) the courts will rule in your favor. Especially if you have any proof of abuse. I wish you the best of luck.

Stay in the UK. Talk to a lawyer, go to family court. For the kids sake figure out how to stay there.

Coming back to the US is not an option right now. You'd be coming back to live in your car with a toddler. In the winter. Jobless. Homeless. You can't do that.

If I were in your shoes, I would stay in the UK with support and shelter and basic necessities. This is what is best for a child.

No one can live comfortably or feasibly in a car in the winter, in Massachusetts. Temps drop below 0. You will freeze to death, literally. It is not fair to you or your child if you are living in a car without any necessities or funds to get those necessities.

Once your child reaches school age, teachers and school personnel will most likely contact DCF if they find out the child is living in a car in the winter. Although it is not your fault, the cold temps and absence of basic necessities at home (a bed, shower, food, etc), school personnel are required by law to file with DCF.

Not her house sorry

No you are absolutely not allowed to sleep in your car in a Walmart. This is terrible misinformation. What may be confusing you is that some Walmarts will permit ou to park a camper overnight. The number of these is dwindling because local communities are no longer allowing it.

Not a lawyer but this is an important distinction.

Is it a court ordered agreement, or merely an agreement between the two of you that was notarized?

The fact that it is notarized doesn’t necessarily make it legally enforceable. If it came from a legal authority then the story is different.

Please seek legal counsel to understand your options.

If you will be in Boston, the Women's Lunch Place is a day shelter for women that can help you. I work here and we can help you and your child!

https://womenslunchplace.org/

The Walmart near me allows homeless to sleep in their cars (and even leave them there during the day) as long as they park the furthest away from the store as possible. Most people including the police know they do this and no-one cares.

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Rosie's Place does not allow children to stay there. You could get into Queen of Peace Shelter for 3 weeks. 617-288-4182 (They do not permit male children over the age of 3.)

Second this. Also, ask about applying for all the services. I know the wait for a FUP voucher is shitty, RAFT is great if you can find a place. They cover up to 10k. Emmaus is not great but they do have family shelter options and an on site housing specialist. The shelter system is stretched very thin in MA right now but Jeanne Geiger is a good resource.

Could you take legal action to get full custody whilst living in the UK temporarily

>bring his son back to him especially when we have notarized

No… no it would not. Take control of your life. Stop letting men dictate what you do. No court would prosecute you for staying there in order to not make your child homeless

DCF will be 100% involved once your child is of school age. School personnel across Massachusetts are required to report such a case of a child living out of a car, having no access to basic necessities (a bed, shower/water, heat etc), and not having a place to go, especially in the winter time. Then you will lose your child until you are given temp shelter and obtain a job and are able to provide basic care for that child.

It is not worth it to come to MA to live in a car with no way to care for that baby. That is not what is best for your baby. It’s not what’s best for you.

No judge is going to come after you for staying where you have shelter and necessities.

If you’re worried about it looking like you’re keeping your child away from the father, make it known to the father that you’ll need child support and a place for the child to stay. If he refuses, then you need to stay where you’ll receive financial and basic support/necessities. Living in a car is not feasible or realistic, nor is it fair to that innocent child. Also tell the father that he can visit the UK to see the child or that if he will pay, you bring the child to see him.

Please do not make your child sleep in a car. He or she deserves a lot better. Please make the better choice.

A “notarized agreement” doesn’t mean anything if blindly following it is going to put your child in danger.

No family court (I hope) would agree that you should try to live in a car with your child all winter and be bouncing in and out of shelters rather than stay with your family. Especially since the father is backing out of a former agreement to let you live with him. Although if your son’s father wants full time custody and has a stable home situation, they may decide it’s better for the kid to live with his dad.

If you and your ex can’t come to an agreement, you probably will need to talk to lawyers in both MA and the UK, and maybe petition a court here in MA to set up a formal custody agreement.

This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Living in a car will default child to "abusive" dad immediately. Get your shit together, stop worrying about dating, and provide a stable life for your child. Your run out of one man's arms into another.

Not to mention the kid has a passport in your possession and left the country with you legally. Don't make stupid excuses for sympathy.

Also: your biggest concern is keeping the child entertained in a car... But the ex is giving back the car

You're not going to live in a car with your three year old, you're going to call Safe Passage and get a place that is safe for that child and you to live until you have an apartment. Otherwise, having lived at the residence with your ex for over 30 days, you're going to assert your tenant's rights and stay there UNTIL you have a safe place to live. You risk having your child taken away from you living in a car, in winter no less.

Your situation sounds incredibly difficult; I can’t even imagine being homeless with a child in a Massachusetts winter. I’m so sorry.

I really second what other people have said about checking a lawyer/the consulate/etc. to see if there’s a way to stay with your family in England.

Have you looked into Headstart preschools at all?

https://www.mass.gov/guides/head-start-early-head-start

It looks like maybe their national toll-free number is 866-763-6481

They are meant for low-income families and are free, and sometimes have other built in services/support. From what I’ve seen they tend to be really high quality childcare, too!. If you can go anywhere in the state, you could maybe call around to see where they have space (I’m not sure how enrollment works). It would give your child a safe, warm, developmentally appropriate place to be during the day, and might allow you to start work again. They might also have resources to help you find shelter/get other benefits, since helping families experiencing homelessness is one of their priorities.

I imagine CPS would take the child away and/or the dad would get full custody if mom is homeless. returning makes no sense if there's family to stay with in the UK

> Child is both a British and American citizen, I am a British Citizen with a green card

You have every reason and right to stay in the UK then. Coming back to America, as he wants, is a bad idea, and he knows it (likely why he wants you to do it).

If your child holds dual citizenship then you can absolutely stay in the UK with your child. They can't take a child from you for that. I read you have notarized papers, but unless it's done through a court they mean jack shit.

So the ex has to let her stay there rent free?

A notarized agreement doesn't hold in custody court

It might make sense to pose this to r/legaladvice. Depending on how long you were staying with him you may technically be considered a tenant and there might be a process for kicking you out?

Talk to a lawyer. You don't want to risk child services taking your child in Massachusetts and sending them to your ex. It may make the situation of custody harder for you.

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Stay in the UK and fight in the courts.

Not at all educated on this subject but heres a random reddit guys take. you're living in your car in the winter, your ex has everything he needs to get full custody from that alone. It's dangerous and miserable. Who gives a shit what was notorized. You have family willing to help you where you are. Stay there and let them help you. It's your best chance of not having your kid taken from you. Use whatever excuse you have to... You only feel comfortable flying southwest but you can't get through to the ticketing agent. You have covid and can't fly. Then you got the flu. Then you got RSV. Then you got covid again. Talk to a lawyer, the consulate whoever but stay where you can sleep indoors.

You are guaranteed shelter in MA. It’s the only state in the country that has a right to shelter. Go to DTA. I’m not sure why you think you won’t get a spot.

The ex has to serve them a formal eviction notice which takes time enough to give this person the opportunity to find appropriate housing for their child, otherwise they could be charged with endangerment and neglect due to inadequate shelter.

These are measures that are put in place to protect vulnerable children, who did not ask for a life like this, but who are innocent victims of shameful absence of communication, planning, mutual consideration, or respect and compassion, between each of the adults.

Yes, they would. Don't doubt anything when it comes to child welfare especially if Dad pushes it. Bad advice.

This - listen to this person

Think Harmony Montgomery.

Court ordered custody arrangements are no joke. Parents are arrested for kidnapping routinely. But OP hasn't said if this is court ordered and also, considering she is homeless and her ex is abusive, I think she should call the Boston legal resource someone mentioned to address her relocation questions

plz, give them a call. in my experience, they truly are there to help, especially if they see you are a good momma looking out for your little one. i went through homelessness with my child, i know my story may not be like others but DTA and DCF were like angels. i was physically attacked by my partner and cops were involved, he even had to do time. i lost my job, our apartment, i have no family or friends here and was completely alone with my (then) 3yo.

my DCF worker was literally an angel, helped me with getting clothes, xmas gifts, and provided numbers and overall was supportive of my situation. DTA were also helpful and helped me get on SNAP (food stamps) and at the time i was able to get unemployment due to the nature of my situation. i was sent to a domestic violence family shelter, it wasn’t ideal, but we had heat, a bed, our own little room in the shelter house. every parent had to do nightly chores, which at first was strange, but i got used to it and it worked for all of us. i wasn’t even there for a year when i got into a program that gave me and my daughter our own place. i even got help with childcare through CTI in Lowell, and that allowed me to go back to school to finish my degree.

we have our own place now, we are safe, her dad got help and slowly we have been getting to a better place where he gets to see her. here is all the info i could get:

CTI- https://www.commteam.org/ 978-459-0551

DTA- https://www.mass.gov/emergency-housing-assistance-programs

https://www.masslegalhelp.org/homelessness/emergency-assistance/advocacy-guide/appendixa

i wish you the best, plz don’t take this the wrong way but i will keep you and your little one in prayer. may God provide for you and you find a warm shelter to be with your son, no one deserves this. hugs

No kidding. Enough with the boyfriend

You know, I don't get that. Where you lived in Massachusetts there were no shelter beds for DV when you left your husband? It can happen but geez, does that happen very often? I don't hear of DV shelters turning victims away very often

You're putting a lot of energy into how to make the car work as shelter instead of milking every resource hard for getting actual shelter. That's suspect as all get out, especially for someone with a young child. Are you real? Seriously

I assume you are in the UK now. Do you have a date that you must return? Can you do any business with Massachusetts while overseas? It is cold here to be living in a car. How do you know bf will return the car to you? You risk DCF removing your child. They could place him back with an abuser. The bottom line is the safety and welfare of the child. Think in those terms

I am sure your thoughts are jumbled in your head right now. Stop and organize them from immediate needs to long term needs. Ask supportive family to help. Write them down to help you clarify the needs of your child and you, also. Don't get ahead of yourself with what-ifs. Just be concrete and look at needs for survival.

Act like an ant and take small steps to achieve your goals. Hang in there. You can do it if you prioritize to your son's needs and get factual information.

i agree, i think the father is trying to put you in a position where he can get full custody. he can say you are endangering the child (which would be true, unfortunately) and if you are homeless and he is not, and has income, etc, the court may rule in his favor. courts in MA typically side with mothers unless there is present evidence of the mother being abusive and/or neglectful and putting the child in danger.

Is the shared custody arrangement court ordered? If not, it may not be kidnapping. But call the Boston resource someone mentioned for relocation assistance. You may be able to stay in the UK if you are homeless, have no job, would be living in your car in the winter with a child. I don't know, but you should find out and I am a little surprised you don't seem interested to do that. Living with a kid in a car in winter is not some kind of a joke.

Here, call these people to check if there is a custody issue if you stay in the UK. They will know, because of the kind of work they do, this question has to come up a lot - shared custody issues

Greater Boston Legal Services’ Relocation Project

yes, this! i rather you stay with family and keep your child safe than to return here to homelessness, and like GardenJohn said, that gives the father full ammo to get full custody! you got covid, you got the flu, you got covid again.

i second this!

Not to mention their comment history looks sus af. The whole thing smells scammy to me. I’ve seen scammy people on Reddit use children as bait to get people to send them money. If this is legit, then my bad, but something seems off. Be careful friendly people.

Didn't know this rule. There has to be exceptions right? So no matter what, if a minor is involved, you have to give them 30 days? If I have a girlfriend who has a child that is not mine, I come home to her cheating on me, I still have to allow her to stay in my home?

No, you must give a tenant (any guests residing at a property for longer than 30 days, and in some places 14 days) a formal eviction notice to have them forcibly removed from a residence.

It's not because there is a child involved. I was emphasizing that the person who benefits from this is the child because it gives the mother time to find a place to live other than a car (which would constitute criminal neglect).

If the scenario you described has happened to you, and communication fails and the person refuses to leave, serving an eviction notice will be a punishment for the adult and not the child because the adult will have an eviction notice on their tenancy record, whereas the child will not because minor children legally cannot agree to tenancy contracts.

No disrespect to you but what the heck kind of place restricts male children beginning at three?

You need to talk to some UK lawyers and stay there. Don't bring that child back to homelessness in a New England winter.

Lawyer and us embassy before you head back. Seriously.

Not mention the fact that the courts may ultimately question her decision making and fitness as a parent if she does so.

OP, you are thinking with your panic brain. Document, document, document. If you can prove to the court your extenuating circumstances it will help.

Stay in the UK until you consult a US lawyer familiar with family law. Start with legal services in your area. Google "Legal services" and your MA town of residence.

Also curious if it’s court ordered. OP mentioned elsewhere that they have a notarized agreement, but I work somewhere that causes me to deal with probate courts and their court orders every day and a notarized agreement might as well not exist for our purposes. If a judge didn’t sign it it’s generally of no legal value.

Edit: I would advise OP consult with Greater Boston Legal Services either way. That’s where we refer people for legal advice we’re either not qualified or completely comfortable giving.

Ive stated that I cannot just keep my child in the UK. My sons father was abusive and narcissistic. He has a lot of family in the US and contacts to the police and fire. He will definitely pursue kidnapping charges if I don’t bring my son back. No offense but you don’t know the person I’m dealing with or every detail about my situation. You say about scammy people trying to get money from people, I have had people reaching out to me offering to help me with money, clothes and general items for my child. I have said no, I’m not asking for money and my child is not in need of anything right now. I am simply asking for ideas to keep an active 3 year old entertained while living in a car while I pursue help with shelters because the chances of me getting a bed right away are very slim. Please do not make comments when you know nothing of the situation besides a few sentences. It can be very triggering for someone especially like myself when I’ve reached out to people before and they never want to help. I find it very hard to ask for help because everyone always wants my help but never want to help me. I don’t get as much help from the government because I am not a us citizen. So please be more thoughtful and kind with your words. Thank you and happy new year.

This is definitely not a creative writing piece. I am reaching out to shelters, don’t want to keep replying to people telling me to stay in the UK when that isn’t an option. I just want ideas to keep my 3 year old entertained while living in a car for a short time until a shelter has space for me.

We don’t have any custody agreements through the courts. We both have joint custody right now

I don’t know about your situation, but I am a Massachusetts lawyer. Everything you’ve said suggests that you’re wrong about the possibility of kidnapping charges, but that you will be putting your child in danger and likely lose custody if you do come to Massachusetts and live in your car.

I had no choice but to move in with this man, I felt like my life was in danger. I called every shelter in MA, RI and CT and not a single shelter could help me. I called for months.

Also my ex has to give me back my car when I return as it is my car, solely in my name.

Who are you to judge? If you have nothing nice to say keep your judge comments to yourself or take them elsewhere. I am seeking advice while I do what I know I need to do. I put my son first always. They will not take my son if I am seeking shelter and working with a shelter to find a place. Just because you’re life is easier than mine don’t tell me to focus on providing a stable life for my child when that is exactly what I am doing, alone in a country with no help or guidance.

Thank you

I tried every shelter in MA, CT and RI as advised. All were full and kept telling me to call back. I tried for months. I’m not a us citizen so I don’t have all the same benefits and rights to help as americans

Thank you, I will definitely take a look and reach out.

So if you had to move in with him you should have been making moves for your own spot from second one and not relied on him for anything. Must be nice to be "homeless" yet fly over seas for holidays... "Hey family, I'm f'n homeless, can I get a deposit on a place instead of 2 plane tickets?" Or if you bought the plane tickets then you should have known better.

These are dumb decisions. I am judging. I'm a single mom. Get it together it's about your child, not you. Keeping my child safe and housed is priority one, I didn't date or have sex for 4 years after her father left. Don't tell me whose life is easier, I just put my kid first. You probably got an iphone too. Just dumb.

Edit: also.... How to keep my 3 year old busy in a car we live in.... Why? Would the bored 3 year old ruin your good time? Yes. The entertainment of the 3 year old is what's important here. Stupid.

Thank you, I will definitely give them a call, I have a lot of shelters and places to call to get help, I know this.

Sorry you went through a similar situation and I’m glad that you got through it and are doing a lot better. I can’t wait for the day things start to turn around. I’m fed up of trying my best and doing everything I can for my son and nothing changing.

Then your notarized agreement means nothing, and you can’t get kidnapping charges. If he ex tries, the cops will say it’s civil, not criminal, and to take it up with the court.

If you come here and endanger your kid by sleeping in your car in a New England winter, you probably will lose the kid though. If they survive, that is.

On the given facts, OP is not wrong about the possibility of a kidnapping charge. See 18 USC 1204.

Of course, we have no way of predicting whether the father would file a complaint, or whether it would actually lead to an IPK charge, but it’s certainly possible. OP’s mention of kidnapping suggests to me that it has come up as a topic and she is wise to aware of the possibility.

Staying in the UK where the child is not homeless would likely not be considered intent to deprive the father of parental rights though. OP would also have a necessity defense.

Ive dealt with shelters before, even stated that ma is a right to shelter state. They simply told me they didn’t have any space and I had to try elsewhere and call back in a few days to try again if I still didn’t find somewhere.

I’ve shed many tears trying to find shelter for my so. And I previously

No; the story is the same. The federal statute criminalizing international parental kidnapping treats custody the same “whether arising by operation of law, court order, or legally binding agreement of the parties.”

OP - do not take legal advice from Reddit. Not even from lawyers on Reddit. They’re often wrong.

Your welcome. I hope everything works out the way it should for you.

check with a lawyer - if youre a uk citizen, there may not be a lot the bio dad can do if you decide to stay there, especially given your circumstances with housing. i have 2 american citizen friends who have had spouses or former partners take the kid to their own home country and it was a next-to-impossible/herculanean task to try and get kids back. countries were france and italy.

Sure, I’d make that argument. But she doesn’t want to be in position to have to argue that, does she? I’m not opining on what she should do. I’m just pointing out that an IPK charge is certainly possible in this situation.

Edit: correcting omission of the word “in.”

I said what I said, and I stand by it.

If you lived in the metro west area before going back to the UK try this group. https://www.familypromisemetrowest.org

Yeah, I'm a notary and like... all a notary does is confirm "yep, this person signed this piece of paper", the fact that it's notarized just means its confirmed that you signed it, it doesnt make or not make a contract enforceable if its not legal.

Excuse you, maybe if you had read other comments then you would learn that I did make moves for my own place. I was in transitional housing. My sons daycare closed in June suddenly so I lost my job due to lack of childcare. I couldn’t just leave him with family or a friend because I have none in the us. If I can’t work, guess what, I can’t pay the fee to stay in transitional housing. The shelter gave me 30 days notice and said I had to leave. My mother bought our plane tickets to the uk and has been paying for us for the last 2 months and has given me money to help. However, I can’t just get an apartment without enough money for first, last and deposit or 2 of those. I can’t get an apartment without a job showing I have 3x the rent. I can’t get a job without childcare. So don’t talk to me about knowing better, I made decisions from the options I had. Maybe you would have done different but our situations are different, our options in life are different, you do not face the same struggles as me. So take your unkind words elsewhere because you are not helping me or my situation in anyway and just bringing more negativity to a bad situation. Way to kick another mother whilst she’s already down.

Yes it has definitely come up in topic before hence why I am so cautious about it. Yes I know it is a real possibility as I have looked into. I have pleaded and begged his father to let me stay here or to take his son full time and he refuses. It’s all part of his control over me still from the abusive relationship.

She may…. We don’t have all the facts, hence why OP should talk to a lawyer.

But OP has ignored that advice every time it’s been given. I wonder if the kid wouldn’t be better off with the father.

A place with limited resources and ceaseless needs?

As are most, unfortunately. What I'm not understanding is why male children over three. Are female children over three allowed?

Connecticut DV shelters don’t look at immigration status

I don’t know what is going on there. I know it can get tight but didn’t know they were turning people away

She said her & the kid are UK citizens. She should get a lawyer in the UK. Go to family court there & go no contact with the US until the UK lawyer tells her what to do.

Probably. Cut off has to be somewhere.

Sometimes hidden suburban parks have big parking lots that no one keeps an eye on

Beaches too

Please stay in the UK and speak to all the places that people have suggested. Only once you can secure housing would I thinking of moving back. Discuss what legal rights you have to keep your child in the UK. These governments have a lot on their plates and unless your ex has unlimited funds, I can’t imagine he would get anywhere.

They’re not turning me away because of my immigration status. I’m saying I don’t get things like cash assistance from the government or other benefits like that that can help because of my immigration status. The shelters in MA, RI and CT at the time when I was fleeing my sons father were all full.

Could this lawyer be any help? This lawyer is right that she is wrong about the possibility of kidnapping charges. The charges will go toward to the father for putting child in danger by putting you both without a roof to live on plus he has to pay child support so there is money which will get you place to stay.

The court system is more interested in seeing the mother and child have shelter than seeing them live in the car.

It sounded more of the father threatening which could get the father in trouble.

I d pray that the mother and the child will have shelter than seeing them living in the car.

1. British Consulate in Cambridge https://www.gov.uk/world/organisations/british-consulate-general-boston

2. Call 2-1-1 they can help you find a shelter https://www.211.org

I hope those resources can help you.

If your income limit is 115% or lower of the Federal Poverty Level ($1,775 per month for household of 2) you may qualify for EA shelter. If you don’t believe DTA is helpful, is it because they aren’t really getting back to you or they’ve determined that you’re ineligible? If it’s the former, I get it’s frustrating, but if you hound them they have to respond eventually

All the comments are telling you the same thing. If you come here and endanger your child, you will lose custody.

I have food stamps and cash assistance for my son, $506 a month cash assistance and $230 a month SNAP. That is my income. They have told me I’m it eligible myself for snap or cash assistance because I’m not a citizen.

I believe EA shelter is open to folks regardless of citizenship status. You just need to prove MA residency (I.e. driver’s license)

Puzzles, plastic bath toys, coloring books, markers, crayons, play dough, stamps and an ink pad. I recommend contacting HAWC. They help a lot. They have things in their office they can give you. Toiletries. Bedding. Clothing. Toys. They sometimes have gift cards for local grocery stores, etc.

Why would you leave family in UK to go be homeless with your child. Stay where your family is and get help from there…

You’re not going to be allowed to live in your car with a child- child endangerment. A lawyer gave you sound advice. Take care of that child and seek help!

Yes definitely, the issue is wether they have room or not. Unfortunately they all get filled up very quickly

Thank you for the ideas. I haven’t heard of HAWC so I will look into them.

You’re the one telling us that none of the shelters in multiple states had room for you before. Why are you so sure this time will be different?

Im not saying it will be different. That is why I am seeking ways to entertain my child while living out of a car until I can get space in a shelter or secure childcare and a job and get an apartment.

I have used them in the past when I was leaving an abusive situation. They will help you fill out forms and help you figure out what steps to take. They also have an option where you can get free legal advice from a lawyer who works with them. They won’t be representing you - they won’t be YOUR lawyer - but they are lawyers who will meet with you for an hour and give you legal advice for questions you have. HAWC also has people who work inside the courthouse with victims and they will help you to fill out forms and sit with you in court and be a support system for you. My case ended up escalating to where the police messed up and I fought it so one of the lawyers from HAWC decided to be my lawyer with no charge. Not that they will always do that or be able to, but it’s possible.

They can usually help you find a shelter too. Housing is backed up so bad, they can’t really shortcut that. But I definitely recommend going to them. I have myself.

If you’re open to going anywhere in MA they can place you within a couple of weeks. Regulations say they need to place you immediately

What part of MA is this