What counts as ethically raised for you?

I used to think vegetarians were illogical cowards, because as you point out dairy causes at least as much harm as meat does. These days, though, I've realized that they're being completely logical: they're causing less harm than they would if they still ate meat, even though their harm isn't zero. A vegan's harm isn't zero either, it's just comparatively negligible. It doesn't have to be black and white.