Drive.

Kermit is The Driver (Ryan Gosling).
Miss Piggy is Irene (Carey Mulligan).
Rowlf the Dog is Standard (Oscar Isaac).
Gonzo is Shannon (Bryan Cranston).
Janice is Blanche (Christina Hendricks).
Waldorf and Statler are Bernie (Albert Brooks) and Nino (Ron Perlman).

Or you keep Albert Brooks as Bernie.