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Newt_Troll t1_jbgvq66 wrote

This was started by a kid and her mom...her MOM.

I can't imagine taking my sons to school with the intention of starting a brawl.

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HiHoJufro t1_jbh5qpv wrote

My highschool featured a boy getting his father and older brother to show up at the school with baseball bats to beat some kid, only for another kid to ask what they were doing there. So instead they opted to beat the shit out of that kid and hospitalized him.

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reaverdude t1_jbi068d wrote

This happened to me but not as serious. I was bullying a kid for no reason because I was a dumb shit misguided kid and just picking on him every time we crossed paths. He never did anything to me ever, but I was just an asshole and it was 100 percent my fault.

Anyways, he told his dad and his dad came to school and began threatening me. He kept repeating "want me to tell my son to kick your ass?". It kind of back fired because you could tell his son didn't want to fight and if he really could have kicked my ass, he would have already. It made his son look even weaker. Later on he sent another one of his sons to destroy my friend's garden with a baseball bat and kept taunting us to come out of his house.

Either way, I feel really bad about bullying that kid whenever it pops up in my mind but at the same time I was only 10 years old and the way his dad handled that was completely inappropriate and probably illegal.

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5zepp t1_jbj19xb wrote

Attacked a garden with a baseball bat, interesting.

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reaverdude t1_jbledwk wrote

Guess I should clarify for as yeah, that's doesn't make sense with just that information.

I had a best friend that lived directly across the street from this kid and his family. The kid I was bullying was the oldest of three sons.

One time when i went over to this friend's house, their entire family sat outside and waited for me to come out. The dad then sent his youngest son to come over to my friend's house and begin hitting plants, pots, the mailbox with a baseball bat.

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Rajvagli t1_jbi3atx wrote

You think it would do any good to reach out to this person and apologize for how you treated them in the past?

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IchTanze t1_jbi7rnf wrote

I've thought about this too in regards to bullies and people who were bullied, and I think folks just want space away from their trauma, not to be reminded of it. I could be wrong, maybe it would bring closure, but I mostly would think it would be like wtf are you talking to me for.

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UnhingedGecko t1_jbigeyu wrote

As someone who has been bullied Alot in life (an autistic woman) the few bullies who came back and ate crow all made a huge impact on my life. I can only speak for myself but it’s so cathartic. It’s nice to know they feel bad too. Then you can both be free to stop feeling bad.

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Nylear t1_jbiv672 wrote

The worst is when you meet your former bully thats gets hired at your job and then they act like you've best friends and they never bulled you. Luckily they were crappy worker and got fired in a couple of months.

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Witchgrass t1_jbj3d97 wrote

My bully apologized and then died of a stroke a week later in her early twenties. That was confusing emotionally but I suppose that’s what happens when you walk around with so much hate in your heart all the time. Sometimes I think she only apologized because she had some prophetic guilt

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420ipblood t1_jbiyr6z wrote

You don't need permission from someone else to let go.

True forgiveness is a unilateral action and it's a much better feeling than catharsis (wrong word here since there's no real action you're taking unless "listening" is your catharsis) brings.

Seems unfair to put the "action" of forgiveness on the victim but it doesn't change the fact that it results in real positive healing and growth.

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UnhingedGecko t1_jblmtwp wrote

Sure, I’m not waiting on my bullies to apologize to start working on forgiveness, but those apologies, and understanding what they were thinking and why they did what they did to me ( a big issue for me with my autism) helps. 🤷‍♀️

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reaverdude t1_jbi3jwn wrote

Yes it would, but I only know his first name and have no idea where his contact information would be located. This also happened over thirty years ago.

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Rajvagli t1_jbjvweq wrote

If you can’t find the person that is understandable, but for you, it’s most important to accept your past actions and forgive yourself.

Social media could help you find this person, if you feel like looking.

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ilikewc3 t1_jbiaixk wrote

🤷‍♂️good for the dad, sounds like you got off easy.

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HiggsyPigsy t1_jbj2mx3 wrote

My school had that but it was bc the kid was racist and of course the rich white town probably wasn’t gonna do shit. Not right but not out of nowhere

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Pickle_Slinger t1_jbh9ieh wrote

Parents are an increasing threat to schools. This is actually a big problem in recent years and it is happening more and more frequently.

https://abc13.com/amp/humble-isd-school-fight-parent-fighting-with-students-massive-at-atascocita-high-unlawful-carrying-of-a-weapon/12755378/

https://pix11.com/news/local-news/new-jersey/3-parents-arrested-after-fight-outside-nj-school-jersey-city-official-says/amp/

https://www.wmar2news.com/local/parents-fight-outside-of-arundel-middle-school?_amp=true

And so many more. I don’t know why it’s growing but it’s a scary problem that isn’t getting enough attention.

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inab1gcountry t1_jbhb4bn wrote

It’s growing because: 1. Schools can’t do anything meaningful about bullying if the bully’s parents don’t care. Kids are getting abused by bullies and schools have zero power. Parents are taking it into their own hands. 2. Social media has made it easier than ever to spread nonsense and get people riled up, including parents.

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JackOSevens t1_jbheor3 wrote

Knocked it outta the park.

From elementary on up, schools across much of the US/Canada have never had less power to enforce any discipline. 'Discipline' is a no-no word itself. In trying to correct past over-suspensions (a legit issue), very little exists now at any level to correct shit behaviour. And it carries on up the line to highschool.

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Locuralacura t1_jbhfllw wrote

What's crazy is when teachers are able to discipline students, parents have an easier time and don't have to discipline their own kids as much.

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JackOSevens t1_jbhmbco wrote

Yeah, teachers are the stand-in guardian (at least at an elementary level) for 6 hours a day so that would make sense. There's always a couple parents every year that zoom in to the school whenever a kid loses a recess though...

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ClassiFried86 t1_jbhxdoo wrote

I read that as "show up immediately at the school" but it's 2023 and I don't know if you mean "zoom call the teacher or principal" instead, and I could totally see that.

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creosoteflower t1_jbhhlj0 wrote

>very little exists now at any level to correct shit behaviour. And it carries on up the line to highschool.

and on up to elected officials and rich people

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Comfortable-Eye679 t1_jbi388f wrote

I was a bad kid. Punishment as discipline didn't really work on me and it just seems cruel. I was abused and acting out but it would have been very difficult for the school to find out and stop the abuse. Impossible really as I was trained to lie to protect my family. I just needed love and kindness. It really seemed that many of the teachers were abusive themselves. It's everywhere and it's very common and it's hard to detect.

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JackOSevens t1_jbj2gb0 wrote

Yeah this is called context. We've known for decades the same approach doesn't work with everyone.

Also, that's a shit situation you describe, but EVERY kid needs love and kindness. It's not unique. At the point where one student's behaviour repeatedly detracts from the class/school's safety (rare in general, but there's often one-a-school) you sometimes have to mitigate that one kid's presence temporarily for the good of the rest. It's not complex, it's just reality. Removing that ability helps no one...boundaries help kids.

Teachers aren't paid to infinitely take abuse and you can't expect the quality of education to be high when that's the case.

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atlantachicago t1_jbhqeur wrote

I think current parents are less mature and less civil than back in the day parents. My dad would never have brought a baseball bat to beat up a kid I went to school with , he wouldn’t have even dreamed of questioning a teacher’s authority. There are a lot more self centered, narcissists these days and they happen to have kids.

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RN704 t1_jbi0ezc wrote

I call partial BS. I’ve witnessed several instances of parents showing up to fight on their kids behalf. Granted in my day it was an abusive teacher or handsy security guard - but parents would show up ready to do harm (to another adult).

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PrivateRedditUser224 t1_jbiyrrf wrote

I have to agree with you and point out that those parents were raised by the previous generation that tended to be extremely hands off and is currently showing their true colors with their entitlement. They're the fruit of the works of previous generations.

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RebTilian t1_jbhnvuf wrote

You forgot that Schools can't do anything because of Parents in the first place. Parents are the ones who sued the living hell out of schools and now those same types of parents are complaining the schools aren't doing anything. Which is true, because the schools don't want to get sued.

When it comes down to it, its like 95% parents that are the problem.

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edingerc t1_jbhz2qr wrote

>if the bully’s parents don’t care

Often times, bullies come from a line of parental abuse. If the parents in such a case do care, it only makes the problem worse, as it gives them another reason to physically abuse their kids.

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mces97 t1_jbhftxr wrote

I saw an Instagram reel where some woman was talking at maybe a city council meeting. She said she was told she had to send requests for things like the curriculum for her kids class. Mind you, this is a kindergarten class. She said they sued her and had a whole 5 hour meeting about her. This parent also said she sent 100s of requests. Not 100 (which is still batshit insane to me) but 100s. What the hell are you asking about kindergarten? And so many people defending her of course. Like no, she's not playing with a full deck and sounds like serious harassment on her part.

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vampireRN t1_jbhm8su wrote

The woman is crazy for asking about her kid’s curriculum? I confess I don’t know the whole story but why did she have to request it more than 100 times?

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mces97 t1_jbhmmpn wrote

No, she's not crazy for wanting to know what her kids will be doing, learning in class. She's crazy because she put in 100s, plural of requests. For a Kindergarten class. Like, you don't find that a bit much and borderline criminal harassment?

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Trugdigity t1_jbhnl0o wrote

Did they answer any of her requests?

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mces97 t1_jbhnyy8 wrote

I have no clue. It was just her side of the story. It was a short clip. I'm sure they did. But she just kept going on and on. She was talking about gender ideology and grooming. So... She one of those people.

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seafloof t1_jbhuqba wrote

I’m pretty sure that wasn’t in the curriculum.

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Botboy141 t1_jbhu1yh wrote

> I don’t know why it’s growing

Our society is more global than ever. "Community" no longer exists. People live how they want, regardless of their impact on others (what's best for me, what's best for my family).

It used to be what's best for me, my family, my community, my nation, humanity, the world. Less and less people have an interest in those last few and some people don't care about the first few either.

Can blame internet, capitalism, billionaires, GOP, dems, commies, doesn't matter. Until we're all forced into a position to put societal needs above our own, things will worsen, not improve. I fear by the time humanity is forced to do that, it'll already be too late (perhaps it is, but I'm hopeful human ingenuity can still surprise us).

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kyleofdevry t1_jbhi1r6 wrote

So, what's the solution? Start taking away their right to raise and influence their kids, but still require them to pay child support? It's a serious problem and needs to be dealt with. People need to get their shit together and act right or take that bad attitude back to the streets because schools ain't the place for it.

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Boozeled t1_jbh17fg wrote

One of the I need out of this job moments as a school secretary was a mom picking up her child (8-9 yo) after an altercation and her loudly proclaiming how she hopped he beat the other kid's ass. Real class acts.

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kyleofdevry t1_jbhhgw2 wrote

When I was in high school my classmate received in school suspension for starting a fight. The next day her grandmother came to school and beat our principal over the head with a metal cane during class change. Knocked him out and busted his skull open in front of everybody. We went into lockdown for like an hour over it.

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PaxNova t1_jbhq7sk wrote

My mother once had her dad come to school and just sit in the parking lot making sure she got in the building, back in the seventies. Maybe it was different since she was a teacher. Some students threaten, and she took it seriously.

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jayzeeinthehouse t1_jbhqwhh wrote

I can, we had several parents show up to fight middle school kids last year because of he said she said bullshit, which, when added to all of the other crazy stuff that happened, gave me, and most of the other teachers there, some serious mental health issues that have only calmed by leaving the profession.

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Impossible_Garbage_4 t1_jbhr8vy wrote

I work security at a school. Some kid and their mother got in a fight with another kid just two weeks back. Happens more than people like to admit

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figflute t1_jbhm5x4 wrote

We had a fight a few weeks back where a mom snuck in during bus arrival and absolutely rocked this kid that her daughter didn’t like. Fights happen so often that it’s hard to keep track, but that one stands out.

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thebigautismo t1_jbjrtqw wrote

But it is funny though, it would be like the scene from grown ups

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