>In January 2019, a woman from Raseiniai in central Lithuania left for Malaysia, where she went to visit her internet friend. She was 19 years old at the time, the Šiauliai County Chief Police Commissariat said in a press release. On December 20 last year, the woman had a video chat with Chief Investigator Vytautas Globis. “I am alive, well, and very happy,” she told him. She said she left Lithuania and broke contact with her relatives because she did not want anything to do with them.

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Just because people are family, it doesn't mean you have to stay with them and let them hold influence over your life. Sometimes a person just doesn't feel like they fit in a particular family and need to go find where they belong.

Yes, i totally agree. Although she could have told them that she's not planning on going back. Pretty sure they have been worrying about her.

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>She said she left Lithuania and broke contact with her relatives because she did not want anything to do with them

A happy ending (in that she is safe) turns out to be not so happy news for her parents.

Thank FSM this wasn’t human trafficking.

Yup. People rarely use the full phrase with its original meaning anymore, but the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. It seems I was mistaken. Though the point still stands even if the phrase isn't the original.

Her parents are probably happy that she's alive and well.

Also we don't know her story, but families can be incredibly toxic or dangerous and straight up disappearing can sometimes be the only choice.

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Lol too a couple seconds too long to decode ‘FSM’

if anyone is mildly smoothbrained like me, it's "Flying Spaghetti Monster".

Took me a couple of seconds too, lol.

if anyone is mildly smoothbrained like me, it's "Flying Spaghetti Monster".

Took me a couple of seconds too, lol.

‘For Sucks Make’!?! No that’s not right

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Wow, What do you have to do to drive someone to go to the other side of the earth to get away.

Mine knows I'm in Canada but nothing beyond that, been 4 years. Do not miss.

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That's the new version made up in the late 80's, the original indeed was simply "blood is thicker than water."

If they were so awful that she ghosted them and moved to another country, content to let them think she died, they probably are the kind of people that would have been happier if she had actually died rather than know that she just left specifically to get away from them.

Just because they're family, doesn't mean they're YOUR family. Sometimes our family have nothing in common, yet stick together through hell or high water to help each other out.

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Right she could have send them a “smell you later never contact me again” message would save so much time and effort from so many people.

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Glitter bomb letters work too

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> December 20 last year, the woman had a video chat with Chief Investigator Vytautas Globis. “I am alive, well, and very happy,” she told him.

Doubt?

I'm sorry. You got a missing foreign woman who vanishes for four years. You contact her and don't actually meet in person?

You have her come down to the station, take her back alone and ask her what's going on and if she's being threatened.

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Not much of a story. Girl goes on travel, stops communicating with relatives, they launch a search. Girl found unharmed, says she doesn’t want to contact her relatives. (Soon to be a Netflix docudrama, no doubt. As they say on TV Bora-Boring!)

20 years ago I almost did that, and I was 19 too. I used to dream about cutting contact, changing my identity and never coming back. 20 years later, and trying everything else possible, I still want to do that, just as badly! But instead I visit them and pretend everything is fine. I still want to never see them again, now with even more and more certainty. Initially I hoped that as time passed, I would start to understand them. But instead I see that they are still as heartless as they ever were. Rather I regret giving them the opportunity to demonstrate their lack of humanity to the point that I’ve become so certain of their character. If I left earlier, I would have had doubts but now I have zero doubts, and it’s quite sad to see myself become so convinced about them. Family can be toxic.

Another container issue?

Globis is the investigator from Lithuania. The local detectives from Malaysia made contact in person and she was cooperative enough to contact Lithuanian authorities (from the article).

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I mean, they were the ones who looked for her. If they didn't care, they wouldn't have even made a report.
Its definitely more complicated than evil parents.

We don’t know the details; so it could indeed be more complicated. Judgement should be reserved.

I will note as an aside that it is entirely possible for toxic individuals to search for people that have cut contact with them.

(Perhaps they are doing so as a way to reestablish control over the other party; perhaps they genuinely care, and are simply blind to their own toxicity.)

I’m sorry you find yourself in that situation, friend.

Perhaps you could still cut contact? (This far into your life, you may have laid down roots that you cannot now pull up. However, you might also have access to resources that your younger self didn’t - like the funds necessary to secure a restraining order!)

Reading the headline I thought for sure it'd be sex trafficking. Glad to see it's not that

I hope the parents already knew that either they or her were assholes.

To be fair she was young and I'd be worried about her ending up in a cult or in an abusive relationship. Hopefully they really checked on her and didn't take just a short call to assume she is fine.

Hide and seek is way more interesting now than when I was a kid.

Haven't spoken to any birth family in over 4 years. At this point, the person who is currently in my life and has been in my life the longest is my 15 year old daughter. I don't know why but that seems very strange.

I have a crazy story like this.

I knew my friend's youngest sister had a falling out with the rest of the family, but figured they would have patched things up in the 5 years since I had heard anything about it. My brother happened to run into his sister in Kathmandu of all places, so I texted my friend, the conversation was as below:

Me: hey, my brother just ran into X

Friend: oh is he in DC now?

Me: no Kathmandu?

Friend: have time for a call??

Basically they have had no contact to her since like 2016, and had no idea her husband had moved from being a musician to being an aide worker. He was blown away. I actually went to visit my brother a few weeks later and met up with her, she wasn't upset I mentioned it luckily.

You can tell there are a lot of teenagers here when a fair and reasonable comment like yours has negative karma. Picking sides in their family issue based on so little information is idiotic.

But parents are bad, amirite kids? /s

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Neglectful isn't the only evil parent option. A controller might still look for them as well.

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Apparently this sort of thing is built into Japanese culture. Check out the podcast "The Evaporated"...as a westerner it's absolutely fascinating to think that you could disappear and not be found again on an island nation just to avoid something like a debt.

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I actually live in another country! But I still visit (short visits). Still doesn’t feel far enough.

Ah, that I can understand! Well - hopefully that means, at a future point, you can decease your visits if you so choose. 🙂

If you are still in contact, tell them exactly this, what your wrote here.

If they are indifferent to it, and can’t discuss it meaningfully, maybe leave for good?

You can still cut contact. I'm 54 and done it 7 years ago. Best thing I ever done. I've had counselling and need more, but I'm happier away from them. X

You’re defending a comment that says “definitely more complicated”. With the same little information. Bit embarrassing.

But teenagers bad, amirite?

Nope. Saying it is "more complicated" is not drawing a conclusion about who is to blame, it is a truth about most familial relationships and it was said in response to comments that were taking sides. It was simply saying that we don't know what happened. Nothing embarrassing about supporting that.

“Lot of teenagers here”

Hilarious that you’re grandstanding about not knowing enough with these ridiculous generalizations. I’m glad you don’t feel embarrassment because you would no cap through the floor if you could.

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