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Theory_Unusual t1_iuaf52r wrote

I know one of them. Couldn't happen to a better person

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Fetlocks_Glistening t1_iuafmke wrote

Is it just me, or is that just (mumbles, counting fingers) six people?

239

DaveOJ12 t1_iuafynt wrote

That titled definitely piqued my interest.

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Kangar t1_iuahptw wrote

Your dentist is right, candy can be bad for you.

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bookcreative t1_iuamler wrote

Ugh, I always knew we snickers people were right about milky wayites…damn sketchy!

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slartzy t1_iuao4mo wrote

Milky ways led the

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UrbanGM t1_iuape0k wrote

What in the Scooby-Doo Adventures?! 😂

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Commie_EntSniper t1_iuaqp9n wrote

"Lieutenant! Over here! Another Snickers wrapper. Fun-sized."

"Good eye, kid. Hm... looks fresh. "

"Lieutenant! Got another one... Twizzler."

"And a KitKat over here. FULL SIZED!"

LIEUTENANT looks off into outer or inner space and takes a deep breath through his nose as he closes his eyes.

"This is the work of more than one person. Fan out! We're getting close.... I can smell it."

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JimC29 t1_iuaqrvt wrote

Stolen bag of Milky Ways and a trail of wrappers leading through the woods straight to a trailer park. Really brilliant criminals here.

Edit. That's what you deserve for littering

Edit2. I hate thieves and littering equally.

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JeebusBuiltMyHotRod t1_iuarkmi wrote

"The trail led them to the Shady Oaks Mobile Home Park where the suspects lived." - the story writes itself.

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shahooster t1_iuasydt wrote

Welp there goes the big Payday.

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Mindless_conclusions t1_iuax3js wrote

Not my hometown showing up here. Oh goodness this sounds about right

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MnMAnemone t1_iuaxolb wrote

That’s what I call a “candy lineup”

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unsupported t1_iuaz8z1 wrote

Replying to beyondlesea (#323,246)

>Coweta County Sheriff’s Office arrested Gerald Bennett, Ryan Murrow, Amber Brooks, Kevin Atkins, Alan Caswell, Brooke Fields and Tracy Hendrix.

>Heard County Sheriff’s Office arrested Marvin Rachalla. One juvenile was also arrested.

I only have 9 toes, this should be easy.

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Kbdiggity t1_iub70sp wrote

We're the Candy bandits. Get it? C-A-N-D...

(Smack)

1

jimberley t1_iub9uv2 wrote

It was duder on the bottom in the middle for sure.

1

TheDirtyFuture t1_iubbs2v wrote

Didn’t something with wrappers happen in the wire?

1

TikkiTakiTomtom t1_iubf85k wrote

Ooh. Let’s play a game. Who do you think is the candy wrapper litterer?

I pick bottom middle

9

brfergua t1_iubj0cm wrote

This will make dumb people town podcast

1

rodewar t1_iubjei1 wrote

Trail of wrappers led to Shady Oaks Mobile Home Park. This whole story is brilliant.

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ScrapBrain t1_iubjqtr wrote

This is some scooby doo level tomfoolery

2

PMUrAnus t1_iubmp3r wrote

How big is the ring if 9 people are leading it? At that level I’m wondering if they have HR and payroll department

4

wolfie379 t1_iubncdn wrote

Too bad the loot didn’t include a jumbo bag of sugar-free gummi bears, as reviewed on Amazon.

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oatmeal28 t1_iubo7kh wrote

Big Brain: they had planted a mole on the inside to lead them to the burglar headquarters, alias The Milkyway Mole

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megamanxoxo t1_iubppbq wrote

oow piece of candy... ooow piece of candy

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randscott t1_iubpwo6 wrote

The real crime is there are at least two people in this story who like Milky Way bars.

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Zen_Diesel t1_iubqrct wrote

This reads like the plot to a Scooby Doo episode.

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likamd t1_iubqunu wrote

Apple dumpling gang.

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PM_ME_PARR0TS t1_iubschc wrote

Replying to beyondlesea (#325,478)

> When the victim went inside his home, he found a maroon Carhartt beanie on the kitchen counter that wasn’t his

Let's round it out with the guy who straight up forgot his hat there.

Don't you hate when your head gets kinda sweaty during big master criminal stuff?

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C_Hawk14 t1_iubss20 wrote

I'm so stealing this (pun intended) for D&D

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Valianttheywere t1_iubvco7 wrote

I was so hoping for a 3x3 image of felons you can put an alignment chart on.

3

OriginalGordol t1_iubvpyq wrote

I just heard of this on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

3

Orcus424 t1_iubxixj wrote

Patrice O'Neal had a joke about how he always threw away his trash because he didn't want his candy wrapper to fall on some dead person so he would be known as the candy man killer. I tried to find a clip online but no luck.

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Raiden115X t1_iubyipg wrote

They had Milky ways, but needed a Snickers.

2

Heathen_Mushroom t1_iuc0u8l wrote

How could these clowns manage to break into this guy's gun safe and steal four guns, but they couldn't even succeed at removing the A/C unit?

/s

2

Petpati t1_iuc12dp wrote

Gravity Falls did it first

2

VerbotenVerb t1_iuc277w wrote

Without telling them how they found them, they should interrogate each one individually, and leave a bowl of candy on the table. Then thank the person who eats all the candy.

My money is on one of the two in the lower right.

1

Gerdione t1_iuc2f0b wrote

Imagine being an investigator. Your weeks of stake outs, interrogations and connecting the dots brings you to these woods. You know they're up to something out here you just don't know where. Your work is cut out for you but you need to get this case wrapped up. You walk a few steps and find a candy wrapper... nothing out of the ordinary but then you notice another candy wrapper... same wrapper that's interesting, who's eating these? It's a long shot but you start looking for more. You find these wrappers are peppered about the ground as you continue following, thinking to yourself surely there's no way. You can't help but start smirking in disbelief, surely nobody is this stupid, it's like out of a children's TV show. You continue walking down the path until you stumble upon a trailer park with the people you're looking for in plain sight. You stand shocked, unsure if it was sheer luck that those milky way bars made their way to the hands of these dumbasses. You snap some pics and report back. It sounds so fucking comical it could very well be the plot of some PBS kids show.

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Klai8 t1_iuc2msv wrote

Replying to JimC29 (#325,161)

I’m gonna take a wild guess that this article is just a scapegoat for “anonymous tips” from one of our lovely fed agencies.

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taizzle71 t1_iuc4due wrote

This is some straight up cartoon shit lol

3

HaikuBotStalksMe t1_iuc4h8r wrote

Replying to SpartacusVII (#327,185)

in Pokemon Go to the polls, I have my Jigglypuff named "OH SHIT! You".

Doesn't make sense normally... until you walk with her for a kilometer:

OH SHIT! You found a piece of candy!

I'm glad I was smart enough to come up with that early on, because you can't have "shit" in your name after like the second or third patch. Unless your pokemon was already named that. :D

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fotomoose t1_iuc5n38 wrote

How come these kinda folks always have money for neck tattoos but not food?

1

soda-jerk t1_iuc74km wrote

Well, they're accused of leading a burglary ring, not being smart.

1

DoneisDone45 t1_iucd24y wrote

most shocking thing is here cops actually investigate burglaries. since when did they start doing that? my friends got burglarized and one even had a home invasion and cops literally laughed in his fucking face. they asked why he opened the door for strangers.

1

tree_basher t1_iucdv54 wrote

How’s that go? When you’re breaking the law, don’t break the law.

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InSearchOfMyRose t1_iucdxy8 wrote

>Once deputies arrived, the victim stated that he left his home around 6 a.m., and when he returned at 2 p.m., he noticed his truck was moved into the garage.

Wait... They parked his truck? Why?

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skelecan t1_iucerz3 wrote

This is peak onion-y journalism

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TheRatsMeow t1_iuciypj wrote

damnit I just realized I forgot to take candy from the party I was at

1

CoconutCavern t1_iucmnrx wrote

I've been told by Fox News that all the shoplifting is being done by black people. Please do not show all the white people's mug shots.

1

Sahqon t1_iucrrum wrote

Replying to JimC29 (#325,161)

About two decades ago, mum worked in a small shop and they got robbed (in the night, nobody there), thieves stole some washing powder. Which was leaking and the powder line led the cops straight into the nearest apartment building, then to the exact door...

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Mech-Waldo t1_iucuun6 wrote

Life is literally a cartoon these days

1

Area51Resident t1_iucz1mn wrote

First we had "Ocean's Eleven", coming to theaters this Christmas is "GutterPuddle's Nine"

1

thomcrowe t1_iuczhpl wrote

These criminals Handel and Greteled themselves.

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weakhamstrings t1_iud1gsz wrote

Replying to Klai8 (#334,624)

This is almost certainly the answer. A family member or close friend or neighbor turned them in and they are protecting the tipper and their anonymity with this.

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Sahqon t1_iud29gs wrote

Replying to pichael288 (#340,840)

Yeah, the old version in powder form. Which doesn't get used much nowadays, what with the capsules.

Edit: but I did a direct translation, I had to specify it was the white powder/granules thing cause otherwise it would not make much sense.

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TheDieselTastesFire t1_iud2y3a wrote

Replying to Sahqon (#338,841)

>robbed (in the night, nobody there)

Remember that robbery is a crime of force committed against a person. I really don't mean to be a pedant, but depending on the state maybe they got burglarized or someone broke and entered and committed theft. Also maybe someone pooped in their toilet tank. Anything is possible.

−3

-Redstoneboi- t1_iud32v4 wrote

candy wrappers. damn, now that is an onion title.

1

Vintage_Cosby t1_iud3syy wrote

This is some stupid LA Noir side quest, Im not convinced this is real

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UselessAndUnused t1_iud47sl wrote

What's Ga.? I mean seriously, American defaultism much?

0

Buck_Thorn t1_iud5n70 wrote

From the NY Post article on the same story:

> The suspects were handed various charges including burglary and drug possession including for possession of marijuana.

Munchies can be problematic for burglars, apparently.

2

dboggia t1_iud9mmo wrote

This feels like an episode of scooby doo…

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Stratos9229738 t1_iudhkwk wrote

Seems that this group of upstanding citizens managed to check all the diversity boxes too.

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DaddyGamerYT t1_iudim7o wrote

Candy trail, candy trail, can deee trail!

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a_penguin t1_iudtbwi wrote

Ohh piece of candy....ohh piece of candy....ohh piece of candy!

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kanna172014 t1_iudtf8e wrote

This is like in The Stand where Larry and the others in his group followed the trail of chocolate Payday wrappers that Harold left lying around.

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Beaneroo t1_iudtxqg wrote

Good, I hate littering

1

PM_ME_PARR0TS t1_iue7jkp wrote

Replying to FauxReal (#339,035)

I'm currently taking a thief to court who has stolen many things - and broken various laws - while she used to live for free on part of my property.

(Her responsibility was maintaining fences and pastures, and paying her own utilities. She did none of that.)

She went out of her way to sabotage things, steal furniture, etc.

You know what she left behind?

  • A full set of cleaning supplies.

  • A full set of gardening supplies.

  • Tons of great dog stuff.

  • Cattle equipment. It wasn't hers, but she stole a few pieces...and left the rest? One of them was an entire structure, so it's not like she was just trying to be sneaky and not push her luck.

  • Cookware. Including a big ol pot that probably cost a bit.

  • Tools. A bunch.

  • Their $90 modem.

  • Various other things that are in complete working condition?

She spent a month doing dumb shit like pulling the wires out of the water heater. Then left half her shit here instead of taking it to her own property.

She's also posting videos on social media that completely give away her baby daddy's workers comp fraud. Lol.

Thieves don't seem to be the brightest bunch. Glad the ones on your end got caught.

3

Gebling65 t1_iuecnf9 wrote

If you were a criminal, would it take a smart cop to catch you? Clearly, for these 3 it's a no.

1