Submitted by unphilosoph t3_z1eu12 in nottheonion
Comments
Zombie_Burl_Ives t1_ixaowks wrote
In the Renaissance they would have made him Pope.
Choppergold t1_ixasu1z wrote
Made him wear a collar I bet
Americrazy t1_ixautog wrote
No, he’s the ‘father’ and the ‘son’ is… well, …the ‘holy spirit’ is the one with the most holes (she/her).
CosineDanger t1_ixavf6x wrote
Shockingly, his partners were two consenting adults women.
He did hire dominatrices and he did literally shit on the carpet during filming of the porno so maybe not the world's best priest, but also not the world's worst priest.
[deleted] t1_ixavh0u wrote
[removed]
mhardin1337 t1_ixazsjf wrote
Fuck yea, Padre!
thenewnative t1_ixb6img wrote
My vote is this guy for Pope.
charlie2135 t1_ixb6zz8 wrote
But the altar is more comfortable than hanging from the cross. (Sorry, I'm a recovering catholic)
ThroatWMangrove t1_ixbgjss wrote
I don’t see what being addicted to cats has to do with any of this
SupremeEmperorNoms t1_ixbhx14 wrote
Jealous! T.T
AutoModerator t1_ixbk9mc wrote
Sorry, but your account is too new to post. Your account needs to be either 2 weeks old or have at least 250 combined link and comment karma. Don't modmail us about this, just wait it out or get more karma.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Specialist_Peach4294 t1_ixbmw8z wrote
The GOP will make him VP.
Specialist_Peach4294 t1_ixbnccm wrote
Jesus approves of this comment, and silently mouths “call me” 📞 to Mary Magdalene.
PsychologicalSpace50 t1_ixcc6ve wrote
It's fine God told him to do it /s
Nevermore64 t1_ixcqtq1 wrote
I can’t believe I’ve made it 31 years and never heard this joke.
SweatyTax4669 t1_ixcx5hj wrote
39 years, and I just associated it when I just now saw Cat-
-holic
because of a weird window size.
3-Ball t1_ixcxw3w wrote
Fucking on an alter was so the priest could say, "Who's god now, baby?"
NoWayNotThisAgain t1_ixd4uoo wrote
>Aymond called Clark’s behavior “deplorable” and said his “desecration of the altar in the church was demonic, and I am infuriated by his actions.” Aymond had the altar removed and set it on fire. (That same month, another priest in the same archdiocese was credibly accused of molestation, and while he was eventually removed from public ministry, Aymond notably did not call him demonic.)
So… an ex-priest having consensual sex with women is “demonic” but a sexual assault is something they quietly sweep under the rug?
Christianity is a stain on the world.
Chard069 t1_iyc4ige wrote
Fornication upon an altar is likely more comfortable than focking whilst upright on a cross. Just an observation. ;)
Chard069 t1_iyc4k3s wrote
So you aren't familiar with cat-lickers? Sad.
Chard069 t1_ixanpes wrote
Aren't beds more comfortable than altars? Asking for a friend. ;)