Thank you. So what I got from all of this is to not focus on both a house and retirement. One or the other.

Now I need to research the house + sell for retirement approach. If that is feasible, that would save us a lot of stress moving every few years. That alone might be worth the trade off of a few years of retirement. Gotta think about it more.

One more thing I was thinking of while changing my 401k contribution - if I put everything in my 401k, I won't be able to pull anything out until 59.5. In that situation wouldn't I want to have some in non-tax-advantaged investments if I wanted to retire early? Unless I just retire at 59.5+. Which might be the case due to income anyway.