"Should" falls into what's called "imperative thinking" - should, have to, must, ought to, etc. (What Dweck would call "fixed mindset") Then the question becomes should, according to whom? and based on which criteria and under which circumstances?

My personal criteria is : does the behavior create secure attachment or undermine secure attachment? (See attachment theory: "Becoming Attached - first relationships and how they shape our capacity to love" by Robert Karen)

I've found trustworthy, re-humanizing behaviors build secure attachment and untrustworthy, dehumanizing behaviors lead to disconnection and destroy secure attachment. These are the guidelines I use around trust:

The Trust Triangle - Authenticity, Empathy, Logic (what we say and how we say it)

The Anatomy of Trust - marble jar concept and BRAVING acronym

10 definitions of objectifying/dehumanizing behaviors - these erode trust

I try to choose behaviors that build trust and foster secure attachment. It's a strategy that seems to be paying dividends. My interpersonal relationships are much better and I feel much better, too bc I'm choosing behaviors that align with my values.