throwaway901617 t1_jay803r wrote
Reply to comment by acfox13 in Game Theory's ultimate answer to real world dilemmas: "Generous Tit for Tat" by TryingTruly
This post is fantastic and I'll come back to it periodically for a refresher.
One thing I do notice though is nearly half of the original 7 objectifying behaviors are fundamental to how we operate as a society. If I hire a plumber I'm focused on the sociological role rather than them as a person and its likely that I'll to some extent treat them as an instrument (I hired you to do a specific job), as fungible (I can hire another if you aren't working out), and to some extent as if they have no autonomy or agency, and even not much concern for their feelings.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely think of them as people and won't consciously treat them these ways. But the plumber or electrician is in another room while I'm working on something and I'm not interested in his personal life I'm interested in my needs which is why I hired him. I'll still treat him with respect but at the end of the day they are hired to do a job, not to tell their life story or decide halfway through the job they don't want to finish and instead want to wander around or something.
This is in line with the gemeinschaft vs gesellschaft evolution of society though so I think to some extent this role based treatment is necessary for society to function. So objectification seems to be context dependent I suppose.
The trick is to always remember they are human and not actually treat them like objects or servants, but rather as very skilled professionals who are providing us with valued services. And some people forget that unfortunately.
acfox13 t1_jayd5m5 wrote
You're talking about having healthy Boundaries, which is the "B" in the BRAVING acronym in "The Anatomy of Trust" video.
I have a professional relationship with my therapist, which has professional boundaries that we are both agreeing to engage around. It's a real relationship, the boundaries of which are more strictly defined as a way to manage both of our expectations, so we can coordinate together with fewer "trust wobbles", as Francis Frei puts it. There's also an agreed upon decorum for healthy conflict between us. All of which fall under boundaries.
eta: the authoritarian follower personality is more likely to think of respect in a twisted way:
>Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority”
> and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person”
> and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.
Those are the folks we need to separate ourselves from as they are often abusers, enablers, and bullies.
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